My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

"No…that, who is that? Where's our baby?" She sought around in a desperate manner. The sympathetic glance from the nurses and doctor entered her sight. In an instant, her heart sank heavily and she gasped for breath, tears sliding down her cheeks. "Brother Jin, I—"

"You lied to me?" Jin Renguang asked lightly, his eyes desolate and barren, just like his heart. "You lied to me, Yan Jihuan?" His grip on the baby tightened and as if perceiving Jin Renguang's hostile mood, the baby opened his mouth and wailed loudly. His cries soft and heartbreaking.

Yan Jihuan's eyes widened in terror. "No, my baby! Don't hurt my baby!"

"Madam Jin!" The doctor held her back in place. "You must not move around!"

"My baby—doctor, my baby!!" Yan Jihuan shrieked as she saw Jin Renguang's chilling smile, then her eyes rolled backward and she fainted. The doctor gasped in shock and chased Jin Renguang out of the room after the nurse took over the newborn baby.

Honestly, at that time, Jin Renguang had the urge to drop the baby and killed himself afterward. He had spent months trying to accept both Yan Jihuan and the baby into his life, imagining them growing old together only to receive a painful betrayal in the end.

If...If not for the baby, would he have married Yan Jihuan, causing his relationship with Ru Meiqi to be destroyed to shambles?

If not for the baby, would he have let Ru Meiqi go? 

If not for the baby, would he be so wretched now?

Jin Renguang laughed, and in front of his and Yan Jihuan's waiting family, he broke down into tears, his large body curling helplessly on the floor.

Was there a man more ridiculous than himself? Was there a man stupider than himself?! He naively believed everything, naively believed every single word coming out of Yan Jihuan's mouth! Look at the price he had paid for it! How many nights he had spent condemning himself, trying to crawl out of the whirlpool of guilt and self blame?!

In the end, the baby wasn't even his!

The premature baby was kept in the incubator for the first few days. Gradually, the doctor came to realize something was wrong when they tested the baby's blood. He had one of the rarest blood types in the world; Rh-negative blood type or panda blood. Only 3 out of 1000 Chinese people would have it. Yan Jihuan was clearly not included thus, the blood could only come from the baby's real father.

It turned out, Yan Jihuan had consumed abortion drugs more than once before. Because of that, there was a slight mutation in the baby's red cells, it regenerated slower and has a shorter lifespan than average. It caused the baby unable to carry oxygen to his lungs properly. His lips often turned bluish and had to receive blood transfusion and oxygen masks once in a few days. It was troublesome, but manageable as long as they had an enough blood supply from his father. They only had to endure until the baby's immune system strengthened and his health would improve significantly.

Yet ironically, that was the biggest problem of them all.

Yan Jihuan was unwilling to divulge the father's identity thus all they could do was to rely on the blood supply from the hospital which was always lacking. Jin Renguang spent an enormous amount of money just for the blood supply and in the end, it diminished and only a few bags left, enough to sustain the baby for a few weeks.

"You're his mother, for God's sake!" He roared in fury. "Is your son's life not more important than the father's identity?!"

Yan Jihuan cried quietly. She couldn't even count how many times she had cried since the baby was born. She had to endure through the postpartum's pain, receiving Jin Renguang's cold glare, as well as both sides' parents judging and disappointed face. She knew it was her fault, but still, it was too much for her to bear.

"I don't know!" Eventually, her spirit broke down as she buried her face into her palm, wailing. "I don't know who the father is! Remember the last mission we did in New Zealand? At that time, I slept with a few foreign strangers so I have no idea who the father is!"

Jin Renguang sneered in disbelief. How could he not remember? Following the success of the mission was the party in which he found Yan Jihuan on his bed. 

"Yan Jihuan, I really don't know you at all." He had always regarded her as a little sister, one that was innocent, kind and dedicated to her work. Thus, when he knew he had slept with her, he was filled with guilt and shame. "There's one thing I want to ask you. That day, did we really sleep together?"

Jin Renguang's fists clenched, palm clammy with sweat. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath. "I am giving you one last chance. If you still bullshitting in front of my face, then I—"

"No." Yan Jihuan's lips tilted into a twisted smile, her eyes crazed with delight and glee. "We have never slept together. That day, you're too drunk to do anything to me. All I did was stripped you of your clothes and laid down beside you. Honestly, I didn't hold much hope but you believed me! Ha….hahaha, I said I was pregnant with your child and you totally believed my words!"

Jin Renguang breathed rapidly, eyes turning bloodshot. His whole body exuded a dangerous aura like a bloodthirsty leopard ready to pounce on his prey, tore their skin and drank their blood.

"But, Brother Jin…" The pale woman's expression turned sad and desolate in a split second. "I really didn't have any choice. You have no idea how much I hope that it's your child I am conceiving."

BAM!

Jin Renguang punched the wall by his side, veins popping up his forehead. The sound of his gnashed teeth could be heard in the hospital room that suddenly turned silent.

"B—Brother Jin, I—" It was only then that Yan Jihuan realized something was wrong with him. Her expression changed abruptly. "You can't abandon me and our son! I am your wife! Jin Renguang, remember that you caressed my stomach and talk to the baby everyday! You have also been waiting for his arrival!"

A deep growl escaped from his throat. "SHUT UP!" 

If not for her being a woman, if not for her being bedridden, Jin Renguang would have snapped her neck off! "Have you had enough? Toying with my feelings, seeing me heartbroken because of my failed relationship, and deceiving me for months? Yan Jihuan, do you have any conscience left?! TELL ME!"

Yan Jihuan shut her mouth, the rims of her eyes reddened. She glowered at Jin Renguang, unwilling to concede defeat. "Jin Renguang, I told you. You aren't going to divorce me! I won't allow it!"

Jin Renguang sought her eyes, trying to find a slightest bit of guilt but found none. It was then that he gave up trying to talk sense into this mad woman. From the start, she had never felt guilty at all. Instead of admitting her fault, all she could do was to use her newborn son to threaten him. A son that had no blood relation to him at all. How laughable!

He sneered in disgust. "I have never touched you nor did you conceive my child. On what basis do you think you're my wife?"

"No, you can't do this to me—"

Jin Renguang turned around coldly. "Expect a summon from the army soon." 

Their marriage was a military marriage, one that was bound under the government and military law, hard and troublesome to be dissolved. But Jin Renguang had never bowed down in face of adversity. Now the truth had surfaced, he didn't have to hold back anymore. He had a clear conscience.

Since the moment he heard that he hadn't slept with Yan Jihuan, Jin Renguang felt a burden had been lifted off his shoulder. As he walked down the hallway, his steps lightened and brisk.

Qiqi, I haven't wronged you. Since the beginning, I have never betrayed you…

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A/N: It come to my mind that some of you may think he's stupid, why he didn't check whether Yan Jihuan is saying the truth or not. But here, imagine your comrade who has gone through many dangerous missions with you where trust and teamwork is an absolute must. Sometimes, they might even put their lives into each other's hands. Jin Renguang's trust toward Yan Jihuan has been tempered through years yet she exploited it for her own use QAQ Bad woman!

And good news! They have never slept together and not even after they got married!