Wooing my Bodyguard Wife

Tai Xuan stormed to his sister’s room and thumped on the door. When he didn’t hear an immediate response, he grabbed the door knob and twisted it, only to scowl when he realised the door was locked!

How dare his sister lock her door! He snarled. Now he was sure that there was something suspicious going on. He thumped on the door again, this time with more force. The old, rusty door hinges shook with every blow.

“Oi! Li Xue Ning! Open the door!” Tai Xuan hollered. “Or are you and Sun Jingwei too busy fucking to do so?”

Xin Yu hurriedly shushed him. “Husband, why are you yelling so loudly? It’s late at night!”

“Wife, don’t think I forgot you were in on it too!”

Meanwhile, inside the room, Xue Ning and Jingwei stared at each other in collective horror.

They were both clothed, but the used condom was visible if anyone bothered to peep into the dustbin, and the bedspread still had suspicious stains on it, along with Sun Jingwei’s bath towel on the floor!

“I’ll cover the bed with the blanket and jump out the window,” Jingwei offered, picking up that bath towel and throwing it on her bed, before covering it with the duvet. Xue Ning winced; now her blankets were dirty too! But she didn’t have a choice! Her brother was this close to ripping the door off its hinges.

Jingwei then peered down, ready to jump from the window. From this height, he would only sprain an ankle – but then Xue Ning held him back.

“You’re not fleeing like a thief, and neither am I.” Xue Ning clenched her jaw, steeling her nerves. She didn’t commit any crime! So she marched towards the door, where her brother was still behaving like a maniac, trying to break down her door.

“Li Xue Ning – I’m warning you now, open this door right now or else -”  Tai Xuan declared, pushing against the door as though he could shove himself through the wood with sheer force, only for the door to open without warning.

“Or else what?” Xue Ning asked, a wholly unimpressed look on her face. “You’ll cry? Besides, if you break down my door, you’re paying for it!”

Tai Xuan would have replied with a smartass comment, but he couldn’t, because he was this close to falling face first on the floor!

Jingwei hurriedly caught him before he kissed the floor, since his own sister seemed intent on letting him suffer.

“Are you alright?” Jingwei asked in concern as he pulled him back up, but Tai Xuan glared at him and immediately shoved him away without a word of thanks.

“You still have the nerve to ask!” Tai Xuan roared, taking a close look at his dishevelled hair. “You and my sister have been fucking!”

He took a closer look at Jingwei’s dressing, and his face darkened further.

“And how dare you wear my clothes! You thief! Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you can steal things from people’s cupboards!”

Of course, Tai Xuan was not happy to be shown concern by the man that was most likely sleeping with his sister in secret five minutes ago. In his mind, Sun Jingwei was just mocking him, trying to seem like a dependable man in front of his sister, when inside he was just a wolf preying on the innocent lamb!

And this man still had the nerve to wear his clothes!

“I didn’t steal your clothes!” Jingwei protested indignantly. “Xue Ning got them for me! Do you want me to go around naked after I shower?”

“You could have re-worn your old clothes!”

“That’s gross and defeats the purpose of showering!” Jingwei argued, aghast at his reasoning. “That’s like using a dirty towel to dry yourself after bathing!”

“Not everyone is so privileged – “

“It’s just common sense – “

“Ge, I was the one that lent Jingwei your clothes! They’ll fit better than Dad’s.” Xue Ning interrupted before Jingwei and her brother could start brawling over the meaning of showering.

“Why do you even bother giving him my clothes! The both of you weren’t wearing any just now!”

“How do you know?” Jingwei asked, weirded out. He hugged his chest protectively, looking every inch a scandalised lady from a period drama. “Have you been spying on us?”

“Huh, guess my brother is a pervert. I learn something new every day, and it’s always against my will.” Xue Ning grumbled.

Tai Xuan spluttered. How had the conversation derailed to this point!

“Stop calling me a pervert! I know I’m right!” Tai Xuan’s eyes frantically darted around the room, looking for proof. There was nothing out of the ordinary on the table, and the bed was covered with a duvet (already suspicious, because his sister never made her bed if she could get away with it), but he found the biggest piece of evidence by peering into the dustbin!

There was a used condom, lying pathetically on top of the used tissues.

“Aha! See! Mom, Dad, there’s proof! Look there’s a condom in the dustbin! You guys were having sex!”

“Really?” Yue Niang burst into the room, shoving past her son to stare at the sad piece of evidence. Her face purpled at the sight. There was no denying it this time! “How could you! You’re no longer a virgin!”

Tai Cheng also looked and he could only sigh. He should have never let Jingwei shower in his house! And not even killing Jingwei would solve the issue – the rice had already been cooked, no amount of murder could undo it.

“Guys, you are all overreacting.” Xue Ning said. “And Mom, virginity is a useless social construct! It’s not as though we’re in Ancient China and you need me to remain pure to secure a marriage. You should be happy now I’m not dying a virgin!”

Yue Niang’s eyebrow twitched. Her daughter was right, but she didn’t want to hear it! “I still do not approve of pre-marital sex!” She decided to turn to the party responsible for deflowering her daughter.

“Sun Jingwei, don’t tell me you couldn’t keep it in your pants! How can I trust you like this? You didn’t even wait for marriage!”

“Auntie, technically in my heart we’re already married and I -” Jingwei began, fully prepared to tell his future mother-in-law about his plans to ensure that Xue Ning became his happily lawful wedded wife with nothing to worry about but how to best spend his money, but Xue Ning interrupted him with a pinch to his side.

“Mom, I was the one that seduced Jingwei.” Xue Ning clarified. “Don’t give him credit for my scheme! I planned and researched this!”

“Well, I also participated. Very actively.” Jingwei chimed in, not wanting Xue Ning to get blamed for everything, but then Xue Ning stomped on his foot, and he clamped his mouth shut. “Sorry. Please continue. Shutting up now.”

“Your scheme…you did this on purpose… oh my god…” It was hard to tell which family member was more dismayed at the realisation that it was Li Xue Ning who planned to jump Sun Jingwei in her own bedroom.

Jingwei meanwhile, now tried to look as innocent and supportive as possible, deciding to keep his mouth firmly shut. His wife had the situation in hand. Maybe they would forget about his existence!

“And I used protection, so you guys can’t complain about me being unsafe!” Xue Ning added, proudly pointing to the used condom in the dustbin. “That already makes me smarter than Ge.”

Tai Xuan pointed an angry finger at her. “Oi! Don’t be disrespectful!”

“How is it disrespectful to point out the truth?” Xue Ning retorted. “And you also had pre-martial sex, so its really the pot calling kettle black!”

“It’s different!”

“How so?”

“You’re a girl!” Tai Xuan exclaimed. “Of course it’s not the same!”

There was a hush as everyone realised the error of his words. Everyone but Tai Xuan anyway. Xin Yu winced as she stared at the angry look forming on Xue Ning’s face.

Xue Ning’s parents slowly decided to tiptoe out of the room, sensing an incoming bomb blast. This was the wisdom they’ve acquired after decades of raising their children – there was no stopping this sort of argument, their kids needed to sort it out on their own! They’d only interfere when fists started flying.

“That’s sexist nonsense!” Xue Ning declared hotly. “Then Ge, were you sleeping with men all these while?”

“No! Of course not!” Tai Xuan roared.

“Then why are you judging the women that were actually willing to sleep with your sorry ass?” Xue Ning roared back, twice as fierce.

“All these poor women that gave you a chance, only for you to stab them in the back like this! You’re an asshole!”

“I- “

“I, along with all other women, can make our own decisions on who to sleep with! If you want to make these kinds of complaints, you can go join the Neighbourhood Association and gossip with the women there!”