Why Did I Become the Villainess?

Chapter 322 – Apology (1)

 "Dame Csille, can I ask you a personal question?"

 Personal question? Is he going to ask me about how Prince Fraser insulted me in front of him?

 I heave a sigh and nod my head. Because I was pressured to agree to have a conversation with him, I have no other choice but to answer his question because it's rude not to.

 We're currently under a huge tree taking a shade from the blazing sun. After he ran after me, we decided to talk under the tree. It's not far from the tents, but it has enough distance so people won't hear our conversation.

 "What question do you want to ask your highness, Prince Joachim?"

 I look up at the sky and pretend to busy myself. If he isn't a royalty, I would never agree to talk to him alone. He has something in him that makes me uncomfortable.

 "Is this how Prince Fraser treats you?" I heard him scoff. "So, the rumors are really true. I thought it was only a baseless rumor because I have seen how close you were to Prince Fraser five years ago. But I guess five years is enough time for someone to change."

 Rumors? Is it about the issue between Prince Fraser and I? When he disrespected me in friends of many people in the western region?

 But I thought his majesty controlled the news. How come it reach Prince Joachim's ears? The Yesian Kingdom is far away from the Vrawyth Kingdom. Does it mean other people know that my relationship with Prince Fraser is not good?

 I should talk to his majesty about this. We should do something to stop the news from further spreading. 

  "I happen to hear Vrawyth people talk about it while I was buying things the other day. So, you shouldn't worry. No one outside the Vrawyth Kingdom knows about this." Prince Joachim explains. He probably sees the anxiety in my eyes.

  I look at him and try to see if what he is saying is true. But I couldn't read him. No matter how much I tried to read him, I couldn't get anything from him. It's as if he knows I'll be reading him. That's why he blocks me.

  I heave a sigh. I don't know if I should believe him or not, but I guess I still need to talk to his majesty about this. It is to ensure that the people outside the Kingdom wouldn't know about the issue. Because if the other Kingdoms know about my problems with Prince Fraser, Prince Fraser will be put in a tight spot, and we cannot let that happen. After all, Prince Fraser will soon take over the throne, and he needs to have a clean record so the public will support him.

  "Prince Joachim, please don't misunderstand things. It might sound rude, but Prince Fraser was just concerned about how people would see me. So, please do—"

 I wasn't able to continue what I wanted to say because he cut me off. He laughs mockingly. "Concerned on how people will see you? Dame Csille, I might be an invalid, but my brain is working fine, so don't try to twist the truth in front of me. I heard what Prince Fraser said to you. He was worried that you might ruin his reputation and not the other way around." He scoffs again. "I didn't expect to see this side of Prince Fraser, and I also didn't expect you will still defend him after what he did to you. Do…" Prince Joachim heaves a deep sigh. "Do you really love him that much?"

 I got silent when I heard his question. Do I love Prince Fraser that much?

 I do admit that I have feelings for him, but I wouldn't let anyone disrespect me like that, even if that person is the person who owns my heart. It's probably one of my differences from the real Csille. 

 Because the love she has for Prince Fraser is not loved anymore, it's already an obsession.

 I heave a sigh and stand up straight. I pretend to look at my time watch. "Apologies, Prince Joachim, but I still have things to do today, so I hope you can excuse me."

 I didn't wait for his reply and immediately walked away from him. I didn't answer his question because I didn't want to talk about it. I already feel small by thinking that I am still defending Prince Fraser even after what happened. I didn't want to talk about it with other people anymore because I was afraid that they'd judge me. Although I also understand if they will because even I couldn't help but judge my own decisions.

 I heave a sigh and look up at the sky. 

 Prince Joachim's question made me question myself. Do I love him that much? As Ysavel Vlahos and not Csille Lauretré? 

  I think I already know the answer. I love him, yes but not to the point that I would tolerate what he is doing to me. I also think the more Prince Fraser becomes mean to me, the more my feelings for him fade away. 

 I just hope at the end, all my feelings for him will be gone. I don't want to hurt myself seeing him happy with Princess Paislee while Csille lives her miserable life.

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 "Dame Csille, thank you for helping us. If not for you, we are probably still staying in the tents. My daughter is already getting sick staying there. It's a good thing you helped us, or else she probably got sick with it. We are really grateful for what you are doing for us."

 I smile warmly at the woman who is currently carrying a child. Then I gently caress the head of the child. "You shouldn't thank me. You should thank all those people who are supporting and donating to Hope Foundation because I won't be able to help you if not because of them."

  The child looked up at me and raised her arms as if saying if I could carry her. Her mother immediately puts down her child's arm and scolds her. The child immediately cries after being scolded by her mother, and no matter how much she comforts her, the child continues to cry.

  So I did what I could do and asked her mother if I could carry her child. Her mother looks at me, disbelief is clearly written in her eyes. "Dame Csille? Are you sure you want to carry my child? She can be too much to handle at times."

 I smile assuringly at her and nod my head. "I am sure. Can you let me carry her?"

 Although I didn't have a great experience with children when I was young, I still love interacting with children. They made me feel how it feels like to be young, to be carefree, and to be happy. 

  I gently take the child and carry her while singing a lullaby. I used to dream of being a mother when I was young, but reality hits me hard the moment I become an adult. I could barely sustain my day to day expenses in the real world. I don't think I can bear to raise a child. So, at the age of twenty years old, I already give up the idea of being a parent.

 The child stops crying and looks at me with her teary eyes. She then rests her head on the crook of my neck and wraps her arm on my neck.

 I feel my heart melt because of what the child did. It's one of the reasons why I wanted to have a child before because I love the warmth they give me. It's something that I have been longing for, ever since I was young.

 I continue to sing her a lullaby while gently caressing her back for a couple of minutes before the mother takes back the child from me. 

  "Thank you, Dame Csille. You are really an angel. My child doesn't usually like being touched by strangers. It's the first time she let anyone touch her beside me."

  I smile warmly at her before I excuse myself. I still need to talk to my employees and to Brother Pascal to ensure that everything is okay with the transfer before I can return to the capital. I couldn't stay here for too long because I still have work to do in the Foundation.

 I was about to walk to the second floor, but someone called my name. I look back and find Prince Fraser looking at me intently.

 I frown. What is this Prince wants from me again? Is she going to scold me? What did I do this time? 

 "Your highness? Is there something I could do for you?"

 Prince Fraser looked at me for a couple of seconds before I heard him sigh. "Can I talk to you?"

 Talk to me? I raised my eyebrow at him. What does he want to talk about this time?

 I heave a sigh and nod my head. "May I know what you want to talk about, Prince Fraser?"

 Prince Fraser walks forward and looks at me. "I just want to apologize for my behavior earlier. I shouldn't have said those words to you. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I know no matter what my reason is, it will never be enough to disrespect you. So, I'm sorry."

 I just look at Prince Fraser dumbfounded with what is currently happening. I don't know if I am hallucinating or I am dreaming right now because I am sure Prince Fraser wouldn't do this.

 After a few moments of me being silent, Prince Fraser frowns. "I understand if you cannot forgive me. I already told Sir Farren it wouldn't work…" He just whispered the last words, but I definitely heard what he said.

 Sir Farren? I smile bitterly. I should have known better. Prince Fraser wouldn't do it in his own will. It was because Princess Paislee asked him to do it, and because he has feelings for her, he then asked for my forgiveness even if he didn't think it was necessary.

 I don't know if I should feel happy or offended by what Princess Paislee has done. I am happy because finally, I heard Prince Fraser apologize to me. But I feel offended at the same time because Prince Fraser still needs Princess Paislee's word before he apologizes to me. 

 What does Princess Paislee want by doing this? 

  I laugh sarcastically. "Your highness, don't you know that you should only apologize if you feel the need to apologize. If you are only apologizing to me because someone tells you so, then I'm sorry I would rather not take that apology. I want to hear you apologize to me, yes, but not like this. Apologies, but I don't need your half hearted apology."

 Prince Fraser's eyes became sharp when he heard what I said. "What do you mean by your words, Dame Csille? That I am pretentious? Don't you know that it is an insult to say that to someone? Are you insulting me, Csille Lauretré?"

  I scoff at his words. I couldn't believe he would turn my words against me. "Insulting you? Your highness, I am only saying what I want to say. Do you want to hear someone apologize to you half heartedly? You don't, right? No one wants that. So, how come it becomes an insult when I complain to you? When you disrespected me in front of other people in the western region, did you hear me say something after that? You didn't right. I even defend you to everyone despite never hearing you apologize to me. When you disrespected me again earlier, did you hear me insult you? I didn't, right? All I am asking for is a decent and wholehearted apology, and if you cannot give that to me. Then you better keep that apology to yourself. I don't need it."

 Prince Fraser glares at me. He then nods his head. "So, are you blaming me now? Really, Csille?"

  I look at Prince Fraser disappointedly. As his creator, I couldn't help but feel disappointed with what he is doing.. I couldn't believe I made a male lead like him.