My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

There was broken furniture and pieces of glass everywhere. The entire scene was like wreckage that had just been visited by a large-scale hurricane. Shi Nian didn't know what had happened in this room, but the broken mirror still hanging on the wall and the half dried blood on the crack between tiles conjured up a very scary speculation.

A lone medical box laid on the one and only intact table. The lid was opened and the things inside were placed haphazardly. Shi Nian scanned the box in one glance to find everything she needed. After that, she went to the kitchen to boil some water before returning to Jiang Jinyan's side, kneeling by his side.

The man's arms laid limply by his side and Shi Nian slowly pulled up the sleeve to show the hideous wound that oozed with blood and pus. Her throat choked up and she hurriedly picked up a few thin needles, soaked them in disinfectant and began to clean the wound for him.

Jiang Jinyan jerked in pain and he let out a guttural groan.

Shi Nian froze as she looked up at him. Sweat dampened his hair and his face was ghastly pale. He was frowning, enduring the pain with his eyelashes trembling. The corner of his eyes reddened as if he's going to cry soon. Shi Nian forcefully swallowed the suffocating feeling within her chest back down and concentrated on her task.

Her fingers moved dexterously, but it became truly hard for Jiang Jinyan to bear as it went on. Afterall, it was the tender flesh that was being scraped off, dug into and bled out. Oftentimes, he struggled and the needle almost went through his flesh. Shi Nian had to hold him down by force, witnessing his silent suffering and pain.

"No…" Jiang Jinyan grimaced and whimpered softly. "It hurts."

She pursed her lips, a drop of tears slid down her cheeks which she casually wiped away. Her throat tightened and she opened her trembling lips, saying. "Don't be afraid. It will not hurt anymore later."

Unfortunately, there wasn't any sound coming out of her mouth.

When Shi Nian's needle went through the core of the wound as well as the most infected area, his body convulsed in pain and his eyes snapped open even though his eyes could focus no more. "Ngh…!" The pain was too much to bear, it was excruciating. He curled up instinctively, but Shi Nian's weight held his arm down so that he couldn't move.

Shi Nian wasted no more time to completely cut off the infected part, washed the wound with alcohol and smeared medicinal powder on it. The cold and biting sensation covered the burning part and the sudden change of sensation made him suck in a mouthful of cold air, his eyes still hazy with pain.

By the time Shi Nian finished with the simple emergency treatment, the basin of hot water had already turned red and the small towel was thoroughly stained crimson.

She checked up on him with teary eyes while her hands didn't stop to roll the bandages around his arm in a practiced manner.

Jiang Jinyan gasped softly, his whole body soaked in sweat as if he had just been fished out of water. Even water droplets hung on the corner of his eyelashes like tears. He lowered his eyes to look at Shi Nian with those pair of dark eyes. However this time, due to the pain, the color of his pupils lightened, enabling her to see her own pale and anxious face within them.

Shi Nian had tons of questions she wanted to ask but in the face of this kind of Jiang Jinyan, all of those questions fell out of the window and the only thing she mouthed was: "Does it hurt very much?"

Jiang Jinyan read her lips. Actually, his mind was still bleary and a lot of things were unclear. He couldn't remember what happened and why he ended up in this situation nor was he sobered up enough to think. In his hazy subconsciousness, he only felt that there was someone by his side with swift movement and gentle hands, treating the wound on his arm which he had neglected for days.

That person's face was blurry but somehow, he could read the question clearly.

Does it hurt very much?

Of course, of course it did. But only with this kind of pain could he remind himself that he was still alive, that he was still human, that he couldn't fulfill all of the bad thoughts in his mind. Only with this kind of physical pain could he mask the discomfort and unsettled feelings in his chest.

Jiang Jinyan's arm reached out, just like how he always did in his dreams countless times before. But all he ever received was their receding backs as they walked away, leaving him swamped in the mud as invisible hands dragged him down to the abyss.

However, this time, someone grabbed his hand and he was abruptly yanked out of the continuous nightmare.

Jiang Jinyan's eyes cracked open with difficulty and his vision became clearer by each second. In front of him was the girl with golden eyes, looking at him with those puffy red rimmed eyes, filled with sadness, fear, anxiety and concern.

True, genuine concern.

A surge of emotions overwhelmed him and in a split second, he was filled with an unprecedented sense of relief. As if this was all he ever wanted. This kind of concern, care and affection. It made him feel like he was still wanted, still needed, that somewhere in the corner of this world, there existed someone who still hadn't given up on him.

Just one person.

He only needed one person to reach out their hands to him, and it was already enough.

Jiang Jinyan closed his eyes, peaceful and soothed. Even the throbbing pain on his arm didn't seem so horrible anymore. 

On the other hand, it was Shi Nian who panicked when he collapsed all of a sudden. His head slumped onto her shoulder, hot breaths spraying her neck like a burning stove.

She touched his forehead and felt the bone aching burn.

With lots of effort, she positioned him properly on the couch as she boiled another basin of hot water to dab the sweat on his face, neck and arms. She pulled the medicine box over and found Yunnan Baiyao capsules that had to be taken orally.

She eyed the unconscious and helpless Jiang Jinyan and went to the kitchen to fetch warm water. After that, she ate the medicine herself, drank two gulps of water, pinched Jiang Jinyan's jaw and bowed her head.

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A/N: hohoho, first official mouth-to-mouth feeding (´ε｀*)