Heart of Darkness

200 Talking to myself



Roxana woke up early with a new spirit. She hurried to leave the ship and went to a bathing house. She got herself clean, washed her hair and body, and shaved. Then she went back and took care of her hair. She brushed it, oiled it, and put some scents that she learned to make herself. Then she put on her corset even though she would dress like a man. The corset helped hold her breasts and accentuated her curves. She put on her shirt and then tied the belt right around her waist, again to show off her body.

When she was done, she put a hand on her chest. Her heart was beating erratically. Oh god, what was this feeling? Why was she nervous?

When she walked out of her cabin, Fanny came out of his as well, stretching his arms and yawning. When he saw her he dropped them and his eyes widened. “So you plan to make it really hard?”

“Oh, yes.” She said then hesitated. “If it works.”

“My concern is otherwise.” He said raising a brow.

Her heart skipped. It wouldn’t be like that.

‘Tempted by your scent. Lips on your neck.’ She heard his voice again and her heart suddenly had a thousand wings fluttering in her chest.

“Alright. Goodbye.” She said and hurried to leave.

Her heart didn’t calm down on her way to the castle. With every step, it just increased until it was beating in her ears. No! She wasn’t ready.

With a deep breath, she felt grateful that she had her training first. The part she dreaded yet not more than meeting the king. She went to the defense quarters and all the trainees stopped in their tracks to look in her direction. A thousand eyes watched her. Judged her.

“Good morning,” she greeted trying to be her usual self.

None responded.

Her eyes searched for Sir Fulker. Just as she turned around he was behind her.

“Good morning, Sir.”

He gave her his usual nod then shouted at everyone to stand in line. Roxana went and joined the rest then he began his insults.

“I am beginning to wonder whether I am training men or not. For you to stand in the same line as a woman must make you feel ashamed. You should feel ashamed. It is not my training that is lacking. I have after all trained a woman to be equal to a man in this arena. It is you! You only have yourself to blame. Now, do you want the women to wear armors and for you to go home and wear a dress? Then keep training the way you do and be a disgrace to yourselves.” He yelled.

Roxana knew he was only provoking them to work harder. Maybe also releasing the anger toward her.

“Remind me that I am training men because I already said, I DON’T train girls!” He was walking around, shouting in their faces. Then he came to stand in front of her. “I don’t train what?!” He yelled.

“You don’t train girls, Sir.” She replied without flinching. At least he wasn’t spitting in her face.

He nodded satisfied. “Good. Now pick up your swords!”

They would train in pairs and Ronny came to her, fury burning in his eyes. “Shall we?” He asked.

Ugh. “Of course.” She gave him a charming smile and his eyes darted for a moment.

Oh, the womanly charm would work on him indeed.

She tried to do her little flirtation so he would go easy on her. She didn’t want to mess up her hair and clothes today.

“You were already strong and now you have gotten stronger. It looks good on you.” She complimented.

He became confused for a moment, striking hesitantly. She smiled at him and began to ask questions to distract him. He got caught up in giving her answers to impress. Then he got a bit personal, telling her about his family and why he chose to become a guard. He had a mother and a little sister he was protective of.

“Why are you a guard?”

“Same reasons as you.” She replied. “Because of my family. I want to find them and then help them live a good life.”

They looked at each other, connecting on that part.

“I hope you find them.” He said. “Must be scary to be a woman alone.”

She shrugged. “I am not all alone, but I would want a brother big as you. No one would touch me.”

He smiled. “Like that man.” He said speaking of Ulric, then remembered something and dropped his sword. “Aren’t you injured to be here?”

“I am fine.”

“You didn’t look fine.” He said. His gaze went to her feet. “You were bleeding.”

“I have bandaged them well.”

“Why did you stop?” Sir Fulker came looking upset.

“Sir. I can’t fight an injured woman.”

“She looks fine.” Sir Fulker said.

“I am fine.” She whispered. “Come on now!”

Ronny went back to the fight hesitantly. He fought her without putting effort.

“You owe me,” he said once they were done. “At least you can share delicacies if you get them.”

Thank god it was delicacies and he didn’t ask for something else like some filthy men.

“I will try and remember that.” She smiled.

Now at least she had the big bear on her side. Oh, men were so easy. Well… maybe not all. Her heart went out of control again as she went to find Alexander. She felt like she was walking into a trap that she set for herself. What had Uncle Ben put in her head?

************

Skender woke up, feeling sore all over. Pain shot through his ribcage at the simplest breath and his back felt broken. His head throbbed and he reached to touch it, only to have his fingers stained in blood.

With a groan, he sat up. As he struggled to get out of bed, he felt exhausted. Pieces of his memories came back.

Lazarus!

If the destroyer took over the man was dead.

He tried to mindlink with him and sighed relieved when he replied. Skender teleported to his home, where Blayze and Acheron stayed with him. He could already tell the demon was in a bad condition. Lazarus never just laid in bed. And he looked pale. White. No, almost a pale blue or grey. His skin was still wrinkled from being under the water for too long. He smiled faintly with blue lips upong seeing him.

“I guess I am not the only one looking horrible.” He joked.

Skender didn’t know how Lazarus was feeling, but he surely felt broken. The transformation this time was brutal and so was the destroyer it seemed.

“What did I do?” He asked.

As Lazarus recalled, Skender saw it all. The destroyer drowning him over and over again and having the patience to do so almost the whole night.

“You drowned me.” He shrugged. “Or shall I say your EVIL twin drowned me.”

Skender could feel Blayze’s ominous energy as he watched him from the corner. He was angry but after what the destroyer did to Lazarus he was afraid to pick a fight now.

“Even when I told him I was helping him,” Lazarus said. “He is so… vengeful and oddly he enjoys drowning.”

He did…

Lazarus coughed, his lungs still recovering from the torture.

“Well,” Skender leaned against the wall feeling like his legs couldn’t hold him up. “I can’t say I am sorry.”

Lazarus scoffed. “Maybe your EVIL twin can?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged.  “You can ask him to apologize next time you meet him.”

“Oh no. I have learned my lesson.” He coughed again. “I already knew this would end badly.”

“I was sad I missed the fun at first, but now I am thankful I didn’t see it,” Acheron said. “Hopefully your twin likes me.” He avoided the word ‘evil’ on purpose.

“Let’s hope you never find out.” Lazarus said.

“Hmm. And what did he do to you?” He asked.

“Just mutilated my body,” Skender replied. He pushed himself away from the wall. “I should go back to duties. Take your time to recover and then stay out of other people’s business.” He advised Lazarus.

Back in the castle, he got himself ready for the day but he was in so much pain. It was the breathing. His ribcage and head still hurt.

“Your Majesty,” Gary came to him as soon as he walked out of his room. He looked troubled. “Something strange happened. Ulric and his men are gone. It is strange because the cells are still locked but… they are not inside.”

This was bad. They could not have survived the destroyer.

“It is like some kind of witchcraft.”

Skender couldn’t even solve this problem right now. He couldn’t compel and didn’t have the energy to think of something else. He could barely stand. “Speak with Lord Amore.” He said and went back inside to his room so he could have a chat with the destroyer.

‘What have you done?!’

‘Drowned them.’

He wasn’t shocked, maybe because he already anticipated the answer. He was waiting for the moment his destroyer would do these things. He knew it.

‘Why?’

‘They hurt our mate and you wanted to let them free.’

‘Because she wanted them set free.’

‘She has to know, we will kill anyone who hurts her.’

Skender tried to take a deep breath to calm down, but that was too painful. Why was the destroyer suddenly stupid? It was usually the other way around.

‘You think that will impress her?’

He hesitated.

‘You just made me break a promise and then stained my hands with blood.’ His head began to spin as he heard a scream in the back of his mind. His mother’s voice, asking what he had done.

‘You push her away Skender and people will get hurt.’

Was he blackmailing him?

‘Yes.’

He clenched his hands into fists. ‘So that is how you want to do things?’

The destroyer remained quiet.

‘Talk to me!’ Skende ordered, but the destroyer remained quiet.

Why?


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