Death, Devotion, Dissonance

Evin didn't know why he was suddenly pulled away from Endra's past, but he decided it was for the best.

"Hello," he greeted Endra, but he immediately noticed that something was off. 

Endra's expression was wrong. His eyes were glued to the knife twirling in his hands, and in his expression a look of grim resolution could be seen. 

"What did you see in your Soul Tree?" Evin asked cautiously.

"Some pieces of history…" Endra shrugged with a wry smile. "How the Twelve Jokes came to be, the origin of the Hivemind, what was the world like before the Empire… Oh, I've also seen the Empress. She really did have a lot of arms. She cuts off some of them when she needs to cast world-destroying magic."

Endra gestured widely with one hand as he said that, but he seemed to be avoiding eye contact. 

"Did you learn anything about separating our souls?" Evin went to the point.

"Ah… Kind of."

"And?"

Endra stopped twirling the knife in his hand, before sighing loudly. "Well, long story short, it's impossible. It's something against the laws of Alvox. Perhaps the Empress can do something about it, but that's… practically impossible. As you know."

Evin bit his lips at the news. He could now understand why Endra was acting like this. Honestly, this was what he wanted, but even then, he couldn't help but feel bitter about it all. 

'But what's with the knife?'

A bad feeling welled up in Evin's heart.

"What did you see in your Soul Tree?" Endra asked.

Evin debated saying a lie, but he felt he should be honest today.

"I saw your past."

Endra's eyes went wide for a second. "All of it?" But he still did not look at Evin directly.

"Until Layla's suicide."

"Ah… Heh, it's embarrassing to think about, somehow."

"How long did you stay as a ghost, anyway?"

Endra did not like to talk about his past. Usually.

"Roughly 300 years?" Endra sighed. "Perhaps around 200 in Alvox's time."

"What did you do during those times?"

"Similar things as what I did when I was with Layla. I'd stick to one person and see how they live out their life. And when they die, I'd move on to the next person."

"All women?" Evin chuckled.

"Yes, all women," Endra sighed. "Now lay off. Actually, they were all very interesting people. It's just a coincidence that they all lacked a dick, alright?"

"Sure, sure."

"They were very interesting! The last one was this one Russian girl. She had bad gambling problems… Hmm… I wonder if it's okay to talk about this? Ah, whatever, she wouldn't mind. She even brags about it to her friends now." Endra grinned. 

"Anyway, she accrued thousands in debt from loan sharks, got into prostitution under her debtor's business, got pregnant somehow, and they turned out to be twins. But in a miraculous twist of fate, she managed to escape her country and get a new chance at life. She even stopped gambling after all that."

"Sounds like you're just making it up."

"I know, right. I had trouble believing at first too," Endra chuckled. "But after all that, she became seriously depressed. I don't even know how it was possible. Logically, you'd think that someone so strong like her who overcame such harsh difficulties… she wouldn't fall into something like depression."

"…"

"Well, I can only guess that her previous experience left her traumatized."

'Do you always live together with such problematic people?' Evin found himself thinking. 'Wait… does that mean I'm also one of those problematic people?' 

He frowned, and decided not to think about it. 

"And how many women did you spend your time as a spirit with?"

"Only eight," Endra shrugged. "Three hundred years might seem like a lot, but it's only six generations. Except for Layla, who passed away early, the rest lived out a more fulfilled life."

Evin nodded. He found himself fidgeting with his fingers. He wanted to find other topics to talk about, but he found it hard to focus. He knew that there was something else they needed to talk about, but he didn't want to be the one to start the conversation.

As he was in thought, Endra started twirling the knife in his hands again.

"Well," Endra began. "I'm sure you're wondering what's next. What's going to happen after all this, and what I'm going to do? And where I got this knife from."

Evin nodded. 

Endra stopped twirling the knife in his hands and finally looked Evin in the eye. Evin shuddered, meeting the gaze. Inadvertently, he caught his breath and was unable to let go.

"Sigh… Twelve gave me a choice," he said. "Kill your soul here and I'll be able to live on in your body… or I do nothing, and we live on as if nothing had happened."

Evin sharply exhaled the breath in his lung, imagining the knife sticking into his body.

"Wait," he hurriedly said. "We'll ask the Empress. I don't know how long it's going to take, but surely, we'll get to that point eventually."

Endra only shook his head. A choking pause ensued before he continued. "My mind's already made."

The knife still spun atop his hand, Endra smiling while holding it.

Evin jumped up from the couch and fell behind it. Subconsciously, his core tried to gather mana, but nothing happened. His magic did not work in the World of Souls.

"Ha-ha-ha, what's with that reaction?" Endra said, laughing.

"We can talk about this!"

"No, no. You're misunderstanding."

Endra threw the knife in the air before catching it by its edge. He then approached Evin with slow, deliberate steps. Evin wondered if he should run further, but he decided to trust Endra.

"Take it," Endra said, offering the knife.

Evin knew he should do something, but he still found himself paralyzed. Seeing it, Endra shrugged and threw the knife in front of him. Something about the way it thudded on the wooden floor shook him awake. He reached for the knife and grabbed hold of it.

"Now, stab me in the head with that," Endra grinned.

*****