Death, Devotion, Dissonance

Another week passed after that, and Evin was now walking through the streets of Ankelite, airing out his new prosthetic leg. 

"Do you need to rest? Or should we just fly around?" Bella asked from his side.

"Nah, I'm fine… Lord Armut said that I should work it out properly even through the pain or I'll never get rid of the phantom pains," Evin replied with a grimace.

"So it still hurts…"

"Yes, but it's a nice change compared to sitting inside my room all the time. Moving around makes me feel oddly satisfied… And besides, the doctor said that me feeling pain is a good thing. It'll make my body accept the prosthetic as another part of it much quicker."

"But still..." 

"It's okay."

"Alright... Sigh, I've never thought people could create prosthetics like these. To think that it would even grow alongside your other foot… Hmm, I guess it's cool…" Bella said casually, then immediately started to panic, probably feeling like she said something insensitive. 

"Ha-ha, don't worry. I think it looks cool as well." 

Evin looked down on the layered metal feet that he received from the kingdom, with sunlight shining brightly on its exterior. From a glance, it looked like Evin was wearing a metal shoe, with how the edge of the prosthetic wrapped around his skin. But with a closer look, people could tell that it wasn't a fancy boot. 

It felt weird, like Evin was showing off his missing foot for everyone to see, but according to Lord Armut and his doctor, he had to let the wound receive as much sunlight and air as possible. This prevented any rot from forming where the metal and flesh met, which was a frequent problem that occurred to people who wore prosthetics for the first time.

But Lord Armut said that if he could go through two months without facing any serious problems, then there was nothing more to fear. The man performed a long and arduous surgery where he revived Evin's singed nerves and attached them to the tiny little Apdenul runes etched on the prosthetic. 

By doing this, given enough time, the sorbothium foot would become no different from a natural part of his body. He would stop feeling the phantom pains and he would eventually be able to move it around like every other limb. Armut even added that it would grow to be the same size as his right foot.

Evin didn't know how it worked exactly, but from the Voice's reactions, he could tell it was something amazing. 

But obviously, for the time being, he still needed to use crutches to go to places. However, he was told that just being able to dangle it around was great for his recovery, so he was feeling quite happy. Slowly, he'd be able to put more pressure on it, until he could once again walk on his own two legs.

"Ugh…" Evin grimaced once again from a sharp pang of pain, and felt the sweat forming on his body.

Bella came over to support him, lest he fell over, and after a few seconds, Evin calmed down. Of course, it wasn't all sunshine and happiness. The pain was becoming more and more infrequent, but it still hurt like hell whenever it happened. 

"Maybe it's best if we take a small break…" he said with a small smile.

His doctor berated him endlessly on not acting tough. 

"There's a patisserie place there. Let's sit there," Bella replied.

Evin sat on a shaded seat, brought over a chair and put his feet on it to absorb the sunlight.

'It really does feel like I'm showing it off,' Evin thought with amusement. 'Ah, whatever, it's not my concern if others find it problematic. It's not like I want to do this…'

Bella then ordered cold drinks for the two of them and they sat in comfortable silence.

'To think I only woke up four days ago and already got myself a replacement foot…' 

After the Voice decided to stop talking to Evin, it only took him another three days to fully wake up. Endlessly, he screamed inside his head, hoping for the Voice to respond to him, but no such thing happened. He was left alone on the nothingness he'd created from himself, but he very quickly realized that he had to wake up. 

The nothingness inside his head was preferable to the pain he felt when he was awake, but that was mostly due to the Voice who kept him company. But alone… Alone, he found himself desiring for the pain he was avoiding so much. Anything was better than endless emptiness.

When he woke, he found Bella sitting close to him, feeding him food. Then came the waves of pain that Evin was holding off. At the time they seemed even stronger than the first time he felt it, making Evin wonder if the unfelt pain of the past three weeks was also making their presence known. He wanted to cry out in pain and go back to his coma, but seeing the way Bella's eyes fill with tears and embrace him in a hug… Evin did not allow himself to cry or run away again. He gritted his teeth and grimaced at the pain, though he was still sweating quite heavily.

After that, Bella began to ask him questions and apologizing to him for not going with him during the test. Surely nothing like this would've happened if the two of them were together. Evin wondered if he'd feel resentful of Bella or the other two for what happened to him, but thankfully, no such thoughts appeared in his mind…

'Perhaps this is what it means to have true friends…' he remembered thinking at the time. 

He wiped Bella's tears and told her everything was fine. He smiled and added that she didn't have to worry about him any longer. During that moment, he wondered if he were supposed to kiss her and declare his love for her, but a sharp sting from his missing foot wiped away his thoughts of romance. 

Regardless, after the emotional moment between them ended, Bella began to speak about what happened after Evin fell unconscious.

Evin learned about the attack on the Island, about Albin's true identity and how he got away, about Arza being chosen as Helm, and about the kingdom's rewards for him.

Then he learned that Arza and Phel had to go back to their hometowns as the Academy students were enjoying a month-long holiday, leaving only Leanne and Bella to tend for him. Evin, of course, wasn't hurt by their actions, feeling that it would be best if he sorted out his feelings before seeing them. 

Evin thanked Bella for taking care of him all this while, instead of going back to her family. She shrugged, saying that it was more enjoyable to treat him than to spend time eating dinner with her father. Evin chuckled, saying that it was the same for him.

He wondered what his father would say if he learned about Evin's lost foot. 'Probably something along the lines of an 'I told you so',' Evin mused.

Seeing that he could still make jokes, Evin felt unnaturally happy. Even the pain that he felt at the same exact moment didn't feel so bad.

The two of them spent another hour together, talking about random things. Eventually, Bella went to her dorm room, leaving Evin some alone time. 

He began reaching out for the Voice at this moment, but it did not respond to his calls. Anxiety began to swell in his heart, fearing that it managed to rid itself of him somehow. Evin wanted to tell the Voice that he was going to try his best to help it separate from him, but this moment told him how much he didn't want that to happen inside. 

But eventually, the Voice replied, saying that it muted whatever Evin was saying to him these past three days so he could better ignore him.

It then once again brought up the issue of separation, but Evin couldn't make himself agree to its demands. Eventually he relented, but both sides knew how fake and flimsy this promise was. The Voice did not bring up the topic again, but it did warn Evin that he would regret his decision.

Evin did not want to think about that anymore.

Then came his meeting with Leanne. Seeing her face, Evin couldn't stop the tears from bursting out like a dam that was broken. It was weird, thinking that he didn't cry in front of Bella, but the moment he saw Leanne, he would start bawling like a child. 

It felt shameful to cry for his lost foot, but Leanne didn't judge him for it and only offered her silent companionship. Evin realized then about the countless things that Leanne did for him. From how she saved him from his depressing life with his father, to how she warned him of the Chairman's plans, to how she always did her best in taking care of him.

It was a shame that Evin wasn't able to repay her for all these things.