Wooing my Bodyguard Wife

Xue Ning choked on air at his easy declaration.

“Husband and wife? That’s pushing it,” she argued. “We’re not even dating. If anything, we’re friendly roommates.” Friendly, with a strange tension that seemed to creep up whenever she least expected it.

“So cold, I guess we’re on the verge of divorce already,” Jingwei mused in mock sadness, even pretending to sob.

Xue Ning shot him an unamused look. “Focus on the road before our lives get divorced from this earth,” she said, before looking through her long-neglected handphone.

She was greeted with an ominous 5% battery life, and many, many messages from her family members. Her mom called a whopping 30 times! Her dad, 10, but most likely because he was next to her mom. They also left over 50 messages.

Even her brother and sister-in-law called her. Now she was worried. Did something terrible happen at home?

She hurriedly called before her phone could die on her.

“Hello? Did something happen?” Xue Ning demanded the moment her call went through.

“Xue Ning! I should be asking you this question!” Her mother shrieked from the other end of the line. She hastily moved her phone further away from her ear.

“What? Nothing happened to me!”

“Nothing happened? My bloody foot!” Her mother yelled. “Then explain why pictures of you hugging Sun Jingwei are online? Are they real?”

“What are you talking about?” Xue Ning asked, despite having a pretty good idea. Sun Haowei had thrown the whole stack of paparazzi-worthy photos at them the night before, but her mother doesn’t know that.

“Check your phone messages,” her mother hissed. “And I’ll be waiting for an explanation, young lady! That woman in the picture better not be you!”

“Right, will do Mom,” Xue Ning said. “By the way, my phone is also running out of battery, so don’t panic if you can’t contact me!”

“Then charge your phone, before I fly over to Shanghai and drag you back home,” was her mother’s unsympathetic, ominous reply. Sun Jingwei’s face looked like he was mildly terrified and reluctantly impressed.

“Wow, your mom sounds a lot like you,” Jingwei blurted out.

“Who was that?” Her mother asked curiously, suddenly very interested. Her voice takes on a friendly, cheerful tone, a 180 degree shift from the threatening tone earlier. “Xue Ning, is this… your boyfriend?”

“Mom! No!” Xue Ning groaned. Jingwei’s mouth was open, doubtless he was going to do something stupid like introduce himself to her mother. She immediately made a zipping motion across her mouth, followed by a slashing motion across her throat.

Message received, Jingwei hastily gulped and went back to driving. Technically, Xue Ning’s mother wasn’t correct – he was Xue Ning’s husband! Fake husband, but honestly, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, who was to know otherwise?

He’d just have to do such a good job at being a fake husband, that she doesn’t threaten to fake divorce him.

“Alright, alright. I shall not tease you for now,” her mother said cheerily. The news that her precious daughter could be involved with a man made her feel extremely hopeful that the rumours were false.

“But please do let us know what is happening with you! Your poor father barely slept a wink when he saw the photos!”

“Okay, I’ll investigate it first,” Xue Ning promised, feeling slightly guilty at the thought of her parents worrying. “I’m guessing Ge and sister-in-law also know?”

“Of course! They showed it to me!” Her mom said.

“I see,” Xue Ning said, vowing to kick her brother’s ass twice, because she wasn’t going to hit her sister-in-law. “I’ll go and see what’s the fuss then. Bye Mom!”

“Bye!” She hung up, and Xue Ning heaved a sigh of relief before checking through her messages.

“Your mom sounds scary, but nice, Jingwei said longingly, with just a touch of wistfulness. Xue Ning suddenly remembered that his mother had passed away, and strangely enough, the mansion seemed to be scrubbed dry of her presence.

There wasn’t even a single picture or painting of Jingwei’s mother. But then again, perhaps she just wasn’t privy to it – maybe it hung above Sun Haowei’s bed, judging his parenting decisions.

That’s what she would do, if she were Sun Haowei’s dead wife. Jingwei could be a moron at times, but insulting him before breakfast was a low blow! And she didn’t think it was right for him to be throwing things at his son and slamming his hands on tables.

Someone clearly needed anger management lessons, but no one had the guts to tell him so.

Thankfully she wasn’t Sun Haowei’s dead wife then. Marrying an overbearing, demanding man like him would make her hate living.

If she were to ever marry, she’d pick someone she could talk to, without worrying that they would lose their temper for no reason. Someone that could make her laugh, even when she was grouchy, someone who still thought she was funny, no matter what she said.

Someone who was still looking at her from the corner of his eye, waiting for a response. She coughed, face red at the fact that she got caught daydreaming about him for no good reason.

“Yeah, but don’t piss her off,” Xue Ning said, trying to calm herself down. “I have a feeling she’s not too fond of you.”

“Why? I’ve never met her.” Jingwei asked.

“Exactly. So all she knows about you are your terrible rumours.” Xue Ning stated. “No matter how desperate my mom is about finding me a match, she’ll never approve of you.”

“Famous last words,” Jingwei said. “Wanna bet? I bet I can charm your mother into loving me after one visit.”

“…Are you trying to become my step-dad?” Xue Ning asked mischievously.

Surprised, Jingwei nearly swerved into another lane, garnering more than a few irritated honks from nearby cars. Thankfully, the peak hour for morning traffic was already over.

“Oi! Don’t say stuff like that! Oh my god!” Jingwei said, face scrunched up in disgust. “I’m sure your mom would be lovely, BUT NO.”

Xue Ning cackled at the look on his face, but then the smile falls off when she looks through what her brother sent her.

‘XUE NING MY BELOVED SISTER

IS THIS YOU IN THE PHOTO

Please say no

Because if it’s you, I’ll have to eat a motorcycle

PLEASE SAY NO EVEN IF ITS YOU’

View Attachment (1)

Xue Ning clicked on it, and lo and behold it was a screenshotted image from Weibo. The headline said ‘Sun Jingwei hugs beloved wife <3 after surviving attempted assault’

The picture? Sun Jingwei spinning her around in the bathroom, with her wearing his jacket. But her bare legs are clearly visible even if her panties were not.

Her brother didn’t send her the link, because he didn’t want her to read the comments – which meant that the comments were probably… less than complimentary.

Well. It wasn’t as though Xue Ning never dealt with hate. She went through elementary, middle and high school with the worst green tea bitches in existence! She can deal with some random people on the internet talking shit about her.

Thankfully, no one seemed to figure out who she was from the photo. It helped that her social media presence was practically non-existent.

Now… How should she reply to her brother? She thought for a moment, before smirking evilly.

‘My dearest older brother:

Do take a video of you eating the motorcycle! I want to see! :DDD

<strong>PS. DO NOT TELL MOM & DAD IT’S ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE'</strong>

She sent the message, and not a moment too soon, for her phone battery decided that it was time to give up.

“What happened? You have a very… suspicious look on your face.” Jingwei mentioned as he made a turn into her apartment complex. Xue Ning was just about to tell him, but then she realised something strange – there was a crowd in front of her building!

For a crowd to gather on a Wednesday morning, after children have been sent to school and working adults were off to work, something terrible must have happened!

Did someone jump off the building?

No, it was worse – because once the crowd had a glimpse of their car, they began to rush towards them, like aunties at a supermarket sale.

“What on earth?” Xue Ning exclaimed.

“Oh fuck me,” Jingwei said, and immediately made a sharp u-turn, tires squealing on the tarmac. Xue Ning grabbed onto her seatbelt for dear life. The horde of people were undeterred by the fact that they could potentially turn into roadkill, for they continued to fling themselves in the way of the car.

Sun Jingwei thankfully, didn’t seem to be in the mood to turn all of them into mincemeat even though he could (should) have. He just drove slow enough to not fling their bodies aside, but quickly enough that they had to jog faster to keep up.

Xue Ning could spot the few women that clearly skipped cardio, for they were already panting. She fought the urge to point and laugh.

“Are they paparazzi?” Xue Ning asked.

“Worse,” Jingwei replied bitterly. “They are fanatics.”