Wooing my Bodyguard Wife

Xue Ning watched as her father gave her a mock salute, grabbed a flashlight with his mobile phone, and then went back outside, presumably to commit vehicle theft. His wife waved him off cheerfully, as though he was just going to the market to pick up an extra order of onions.

Did no one see anything strange about this?

“Mom? Are you sure about this? What if Dad gets caught?” Xue Ning asked, still unsure. She watched her father gradually vanish into the darkness, still wearing his bloody shirt! If anyone caught sight of him, her father would be sent to jail for sure.

“Nonsense,” Yue Niang said, shrugging off her daughter’s concerns. “He used to break into armoured vehicles, one tiny pickup truck is nothing!”

“… Excuse me?” Xue Ning asked. “Mom, did you just say – “

“Oh, look at the time,” Yue Niang said, pretending to look at her non-existent watch. “You better pack your things soon. Or if you have nothing to bring, you can help wrap up their wounds. Once the truck comes, we’re immediately getting on it!”

Xue Ning’s eyebrow twitched at the blatant change in subject.

“Mom, you and Dad are definitely hiding something from me.” She scowled heavily, staring at her Mom, who determinedly projected an aura of nonchalance. “Your behaviour here… is just weird.”

“One doesn’t reach middle age without developing strange foibles,” was her mother’s less than helpful reply. Xue Ning rolled her eyes.

“Fine, keep your secrets for now,” Xue Ning said, stomping her feet. “I’m going to get the bandages and look for Jingwei.”

She wasn’t that old, but she knew that stealing vehicles and expertly stabbing men weren’t just fun hobbies one picked up at the local community centre over the weekends!

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“My darling! Precious! The light of my life, stars in my eyes, breath in my lungs  – “

The moment Jingwei caught sight of Xue Ning, his whole body seemed to vibrate in excitement as he waved her over. Luo Lan and Zhong Qing exchanged incredulous glances – god, all the BDSM dungeons in the world couldn’t be as whipped as he was!

“Shut it,” Xue Ning said, smacking her free hand against his mouth, even as her lips subconsciously curled into a smile.

“Only if you kiss me,” Jingwei said. Xue Ning rolled her eyes. This man really took advantage of her! But then again, she did let him, gave him permission to enter her room and tromp around her heart. So was he really taking advantage, or merely taking what’s offered?

That was something she would think about in future, but for now, since there were other prying eyes watching them, Xue Ning dropped a quick peck on his lips, only for Jingwei to pull her closer by her waist, pressing her body against his and deepening the kiss.

The medical supplies in her hands fell helplessly on the floor. One roll of bandage bounced and smacked Wei Yan straight on his wounded nose, but no one noticed!

Xue Ning let out a muffled moan, as Jingwei’s tongue curled around her mouth. Just as she was about to pull him closer, there was a sudden cough from the ground. Luo Lan’s ears were red as he watched them make out like teenagers.

Xue Ning quickly pushed Jingwei away, remembering they were not alone.

“There are people here!” Xue Ning spluttered, face turning red in the moonlight.

“I know,” Jingwei said as he gave one particular person a smug look, before cuddling Xue Ning adoringly. “I don’t care.”

He did it purposely so that their eyes could witness how much he craved his wife! Thankfully, even if Xue Ning grumbled about it, she still let him hold her.

Unknown to Xue Ning, before she found Jingwei, he was already arguing with Wei Yan about who was a better fit for Xue Ning, with the two bleeding fools as unwilling judges. Wei Yan just kept on spitting lies about how Jingwei’s relationship with Xue Ning was a complete sham, held up by contracts and lies, and how she was definitely going to file for divorce!

It almost made Jingwei want to punch him in his swollen nose. But then Xue Ning appeared, and all was well – he got to kiss her while giving Wei Yan the ultimate middle finger.

Zhong Qing couldn’t help but sarcastically add, “Wow Wei Yan, you really have such a vivid imagination! How can you think this woman would go for you?”

Wei Yan gnashed his teeth, his face turning red in anger and shame. Xue Ning took a quick look at him, preparing to give him a piece of her mind, but her mouth fell open in surprise when she saw the change in his face.

“What happened to your nose? It’s so… swollen and crooked. Is it broken?”

“No it’s not!” Wei Yan declared. “I feel perfectly fine!”

“We threw him out the window Madam,” Luo Lan reported.

“What?” Xue Ning whipped her head around and cracked her knuckles. Zhong Qing shuffled further away, a tiny ‘meep’ escaping from his lips at her death glare. Maybe this Wei Yan man was telling the truth!

“So you do have feelings – “

“Shhhhhh,” Luo Lan hurriedly interrupted. He felt his sense of self-preservation rear its timely head; if Zhong Qing said the wrong thing, Sun Jingwei could throw them into the dumpster in pieces for the locals to find!

Luo Lan added, “We only decided to bring him along because he promised to leak Sun family secrets and betray Sun Jingwei, so don’t get the wrong idea! It was him who floated the idea first! We were just…taking initiative.”

“So you guys took the initiative to throw him out the window like a trash bag?” Xue Ning demanded, glaring angrily at them.

“He was very heavy,” Luo Lan said, as though that explained everything, and maybe it did.

“He’s kind of trashy,” was Zhong Qing’s intelligent comment.

Xue Ning breathed deeply to calm herself down. She found it hard to believe that Wei Yan could possibly have hated Jingwei enough to ally with idiot kidnappers. That was a clear sign of cutting one’s nose to spite their face!

Speaking of noses, Wei Yan’s nose needed medical attention.

“Nonsense, don’t worry, I’ll help you reset it,” Xue Ning promised, kneeling by his side as she stretched her fingers and her neck muscles. Wei Yan looked up at Li Xue Ning’s eager eyes and felt trepidation crawl up his spine, but he was determined to remain calm and unaffected.

Meanwhile, Jingwei felt jealousy curl in his gut; why was Xue Ning still caring for this annoying man?

“Xue Ning, are you sure you want to do this?” Jingwei asked, trying not to sulk. “He will survive until a doctor takes a look at him. A broken nose isn’t that serious.”

“No need, I can help!” Xue Ning said, giving him a reassuring thumbs up while Jingwei twitched. Was his wife purposely ignoring his jealousy, or was she simply unaware of it? “I learnt how to do this years ago.”

“From where? First-aid professionals?” Jingwei asked, curious.

“Nope! From 15-second videos!” Xue Ning said proudly. “I watched many of them.”

“Oh. My dear, you are so capable.” Jingwei said, returning her thumbs up. Hopefully Xue Ning would break Wei Yan’s nose even further, turning him into the ugly man he was deep inside.

Jingwei wasn’t a medical professional, but even he knew broken noses needed local anaesthetic before resetting them.

He stifled a laugh as he saw the dawning horror in Wei Yan’s eyes. Wei Yan’s eyeballs darted to Miss Li’s fingers with no small amount of concern, but he refused to flinch.

He had to prove to Sun Jingwei that he was the better man! He shot Jingwei with a smug look from the corner of his eye. So what if he got to kiss Miss Li? Li Xue Ning still cared enough to treat him!

“Hmm… let’s see if I still remember…” Xue Ning muttered to herself, pulling up her phone to search for the relevant videos. Wei Yan’s face paled further – so not only did Miss Li learn how to reset noses from the Internet, she had also forgotten how to reset noses?!

He had to stop her right now!

“Sorry for troubling you,” Wei Yan said, suddenly differentially polite. “But maybe you can just get me an ice pack? I’m sure it’s not that serious.”

“No no of course not, look at how swollen and crooked it is!” Xue Ning exclaimed, pointing at his nose. “How can you even breathe? I need to help!”

“Exactly! Your nose looks like a clown nose!” Zhong Qing said, flinging the first metaphorical stone at Wei Yan.

“You should get it fixed.” Luo Lan threw another rock at him.

“Yeah Wei Yan, we wouldn’t want your handsome face to be hurt.”

Wei Yan tilted his head and gave all three other men a deadly glare, but he only got three shit-eating grins in reply. Curse them all! If he ended up disfigured, he was going to stab all of them in the face.