Wooing my Bodyguard Wife

He wanted to curse at her, but he could do nothing but try to swallow the juice, shivering at every mouthful.

“Oh wait, you can’t really answer. Sorry about that,” she continued sweetly, dabbing at his chin with a tissue she grabbed from the table.

“But don’t worry! I can tell you really love this! After all, you’re drinking all the juice. I still have a few of them if you want more. Just open your mouth! I’ll pop them inside for you!”

Xin Yu finished with a beautiful smile, holding another lemon in her hand. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the implied threat in her words.

That’s it! This woman was evil! The devil!

But Wei Yan was stubborn and determined. He wasn’t going to let this two-faced woman bully him – he was a man after all! He gathered his courage and bit down on the lemon, blinking back the tears that started to form.

‘It’ll be fine! Mind over matter!’ Wei Yan chanted to himself mentally as he continued to swallow the sour juice. His lips and tongue were tingling already. He finally managed to spit out the slice of lemon, smirking triumphantly at this woman who dared to get in his way.

“Where is -“

Another lemon slice was shoved in his mouth, forcing him to repeat the same arduous trial.

“Hahhaha you must really be a huge fan of lemons!” Xin Yu said delightedly, even as her eyebrow twitched. This man was a persistence nuisance, the human personification of a period cramp! She took a quick look at her bag; unfortunately she only had four lemons worth of slices.

Wei Yan was also watching her bag with deranged, yet determined eyes. He just had to bite through all of them, and then he would be able to ruin Sun Jingwei for good! Judging by how weird this woman was acting, there was definitely something strange afoot.

She was too determined to silence him.

That, and the fact that Jingwei and Xue Ning weren’t in the living room clearly proved that they were up to some sordid business that they didn’t want the elders to know about.

He snorted, and accidentally choked on a mouthful of lemon juice.

It didn’t take a genius to guess what it was.

A shower? Wei Yan wasn’t a gambler, but he’d bet his left kidney that Jingwei wasn’t alone in the shower.

After all, it wasn’t the first time they fucked in the bathroom – Wei Yan had stood outside for both instances, hearing them indulge in their pleasure. Those inconsiderate lovers deserved a taste of their own medicine, and Wei Yan would gladly deliver it to them once he ate through this hellish bag of lemons!

Slice after slice went into his mouth, and Wei Yan still continued to eat them, even when tears rolled down his cheeks. Xin Yu was begrudgingly impressed, but a bigger part of her began to worry, and she sneaked a peek at the wall clock. Only 20 minutes had passed! She didn’t have anything more powerful than these lemons!

To make matters worse, Wei Yan seemed to be eating those lemon slices faster than she expected. Perhaps his mouth was already numb from the overdose of sourness, so he couldn’t feel any worse.

Soon she was left with her last slice.

Xin Yu frowned; she had to get rid of him!

“Ming Guang, do you want to help me bring Wei Yan outside?” She asked politely, while Wei Yan’s mouth was still full. “I think he could use some fresh air.”

Before Ming Guang could reply, there was a creaking sound that echoed throughout the house, followed by a few loud thuds.

Xin Yu’s heart leapt to her throat – oh god, why were they making so much noise?

“What was that?” Tai Cheng asked, frowning as he peered around the couch. “Everyone, did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Tai Xuan asked, confused. “Must be just our house complaining. It’s so old already.”

“Aish, I told you time and time again our house needed renovations, but did you listen to me? No!” Yue Niang grumbled as she raised the volume of the TV to drown out the sounds. “One day, our roof will collapse on top of us and I’ll say ‘I told you so’.”

“The house is in perfectly good shape,” Tai Cheng protested, sinking into the sofa.

Everyone kept a careful ear out for any suspicious noises, but there were none. Their attention turned back to the TV and Xin Yu was just about to heave a sigh of relief when she heard it again.

A thud.

Another thud.

Yet another thud.

It didn’t stop!

It was a series of rhythmic thuds.

This time, it was loud enough to be heard even with the raised volume!

Frowns began to appear on everyone’s faces. Everyone except Wei Yan, because he was this close to bursting into diabolical laughter. Even heaven was on his side! This horny couple was going to get exposed soon!

Then he choked on the last slice of lemon, briefly attracting the attention of her family.

“Is Wei Yan alright?”

“He’s fine!” Xin Yu assured them. “He just choked!”

Unfortunately, Wei Yan’s near-death experience wasn’t enough to distract them.

“Oi, what’s going on? Why is the sound starting again?” Tai Xuan burst out, irritated. “Meimei needs to stop practising basketball at this hour.”

“Your sister isn’t that inconsiderate. I think it’s our neighbours. Why are they trying to workout at this time?” Tai Cheng asked. “There’s a time and place for everything!”

“What neighbours? Laogong, we’re not living in a flat like before.” Yue Niang reminded him.

There was a brief period of time where they stayed hidden in dingy flats to avoid the prying eyes of the Sun family, and were hence subjected to the worst neighbours anyone could have.

Smelly neighbours with poor hygiene, screaming crying children, and the sound of couples energetically having sex when they were trying to sleep were depressingly routine!