Villainess Becomes The Knight

Abigail pov contd.

The grip of his hands tightened on my hands and no matter how much I tried, I could not seem to get rid of it.

His eyes were looking at me with some anger that I could not understand what happened.

I thought we had a conversation like good friends then where did this anger come from.

"Why are you doing this to me? Behaving as if you know me since ages? And why do you care if I get success or not?" His tone and words did not sit well with me as he was looking visibly angry.

"Since we are working together, We should be friends. What was so wrong with that?" I retorted back with the same anger he was showing me.

"Really? Then tell me, why are you so stressed? Why do you keep pushing yourself so much? I have seen you practicing like crazies in the middle of the night or in the early morning even when your father had not started practicing.

Even when you take a break either you are reading politics or the art of war? Why are you in such a hurry to be a knight when you are just 16?" 

His questions were affecting me more than I had thought. I began to feel nauseated. I closed my eyes to try to turn away from his cold blue eyes.

'Don't tell him anything!' Some cold voice deep inside me ordered me. 'Are you going to open your heart to him because of his comforting words? What if he thought that you were crazy or left you?

I was about to shake my head and deny his every word when he added.

"And about the crown prince? Why are you trying so hard to be his knight when you didn't even like him? If you would have been trying to win his heart or attempting for the seat of empress then i would have still understood you, but why is it so important to save his life when the whole empire knows that he have more enemies than friends.'' His voice was filled with concern as if he was worried that I was making wrong decisions in my life. 

He was trying to help me understand my problem rather than thinking that I was crazy!

  'Can't you believe in Noah? Remember your vow that you would walk with people around you? Even if he knows that you're hiding something, he's asking you how to help instead of ignoring your problems. He even told you the truth behind the change in name! So could you not trust him and give him a chance?' said the same voice again making me torn between both choices.

I was breathing faster and faster as the old memories came alive with each of his questions.

"And that man, the archduke of the empire. Why are you so scared to see him? Your whole body was trembling? Could you tell me why you are so scared and how I can help you?" 

"There.. There is nothing like that.." I tried to retort, but my voice was so feeble that I was not even able to hear it.

"Trust me, Abigail. I'll take some of your burden off your chest. Tell me what you are so afraid of. " His words were so comforting, so smoothing that I felt I could lean on him, and close my eyes without being afraid.

  I'm scared. But if I keep hiding like this, I won't be able to escape forever. I hate to live like that. I don't want to be trapped in that memory and let it torment my whole life.'

I took a big breath. Putting my hands on my heart that was beating so fast, I opened my mouth,

  Well, I had a dream. It was a very long dream."

"Dream?"

  "Yes. I loved someone a lot in my dream but he cheated me and then killed me and my family. It was all because the crown prince died. If he would not die and became the emperor then my family would be safe too. So I promised myself I will do anything to keep him safe."

"Now, I am completely awake from that dream, but I can't erase my memories and feelings from that dream."

"… "

"I see. You must have had a nightmare. Don't worry too much. A dream is just a dream. It can never be a reality."

I just nodded at his lack of reaction and simply ignored my words.

"Now would you tell me what I have asked?"

I looked at him confused, "but I just told you that."

He shook his head as if he could not believe me, "if you don't want to tell me, then it is your wish, but you do not need to tell lies. It is not like I am forcing you, I was just concerned about you." his words were filled with distrust. He did not believe a single word that I said.

"Trust me, Noah, that is the truth, I am doing this to keep my family safe."

He shook his head and stood up ready to leave, and all I felt was his hollow words. I could not believe that I trusted him so easily.

I was so disappointed in him.

"It is not that I do not trust you, it is you who do not trust me. I can not even understand why you are even trying to behave like a friend when you are not one. I did not want to talk to you, it is better that you leave."

"I will never ask you again. I won't ask you to tell me about it. I was all wrong. So please don't desert me. Please!"

As I trusted him, I showed him my hurt feelings, but he didn't understand.

I really couldn't stand it anymore.

"Can you leave now, Noah?"

"Abigail!"

I pulled my hand from him and turned my face away from him.