The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Chapter 76



Chapter 76: The Knight Princess

Using the light from the oil lamp, I read a book on the bed as I wait for the first ray of sunlight to slowly creep into the room. The sunlight gradually warms my body and soul. Such an ordinary thing that people experience in their daily lives, and currently one of my greatest pleasures to enjoy.

I didn’t manage to get much in from the reading, as my mind was wandering all over the place. The mind is always the clearest during daybreak and all kinds of evil schemes come popping up, one after another. Perhaps, this is an instinctual reaction of life towards light.

We arrived at Laince Stronghold almost half a month ago, and Yingou’s merchant party had long left. They are to head for Auland Empire to attend the new Emperor Darsos’s inauguration ceremony. The Roland Robot will serve as a congratulatory gift to him. The Auland royalty and nobles are known to be extravagant and fervently pursue rare artifacts. This kind of interesting novelty, a giant robot, is definitely one of a kind on the Surface. Through Yingou’s calculations, this long journey to present the gift is definitely an investment that will bring lots of benefits.

A large part of the party has left, but I had no intentions of leaving. Every day, I focus only on training my swordsmanship, reading books, roam the streets, chat with strangers and enjoy my tea, as carefree as retired personnel.

“Could it be that this fellow really came to the Human world for a vacation?”

Others look at my actions with incomprehension, but in actuality, I have already done a lot of things.

For example, gathering information and updating my knowledge on the situation, learning changes in the different countries on the main continent and adapting my future plans to these changes.

I must say that due to the underground tunnel being too long and dangerous, not to mention that the Underground World is incomparably chaotic, by the time news of the Surface reaches the underground, it would long be history. Unless it is the scouts bringing back important information, normal information would have a minimum gap of half a year, and mistakes in the information cannot be avoided as well.

Furthermore, most of the dwellers of the Underground World don’t even have enough time to handle their own life, so there is no way they would have the spare time to worry about the Surface, which is thousands of miles away. Even the gossips take a long time to spread around. Thus, the reports that Liu Huang Mountain City obtains on each country are mostly derived from the idle chatter of the merchants moving to and fro between the two worlds. Most of the news they have are above thirty years old.

Inaccurate information will only lead to inaccurate judgement. If we don’t even understand the personality and background of the leaders of each country, then how can we make the proper preparations accordingly. There is a need to work on this aspect.

Un, while I put it in an elegant and intelligent manner, but it really only involves looking at newspapers and browsing through books.

Due to the existence of the God of Knowledge, the Eich Continent’s printing industry is rather advanced. Similar to Liu Huang Mountain City’s daily newspaper, the Ming United Kingdom also has its own news industry. Although the newspapers that the capital, Casilla City, sends to this stronghold are often three months old without much variety to them, it is much more useful than the useless intelligence which are decades old.

Even so, the old newspapers and magazines that I finished in half a month are sufficient to fill up three to four rooms.

“【The Evil Underground World is starting to make a move? The legendary Underground Alliance finally appears! Our wise King Arthur the Second is gathering troops to prepare for a long war!】, heh, even Molly’s name is spelled wrongly. A long time has already passed since the Underground Alliance was changed entirely. The intelligence is equally old and outdated.”

However, to be able to predict the Underground World’s intention to attack the Surface ten years in advance and start preparation for a long war, it seems that Arthur the Second, who is reputed as a Sage King by the future generations, is still rather capable.

Gathering intelligence is just a small part of my daily schedule. There are still a lot of seemingly unimportant matters but in actuality, are absolutely essential to deal with.

For example, my background and my way of speaking. In order to fully integrate into the Human society, I must first settle these two problems.

The way ancient people speak and modern people speak are completely different. Even the commonly used words are extremely different in terms of tone and pronunciation depending on the area. This might seem like a small matter, but it is often a crucial gap which is exploited to find out one’s true identity.

To me, learning how to imitate an accent isn’t a problem. What I find difficult is deleting those archaic words that have long disappeared from history. If a 300-year-old archaic phrase and intonation were to suddenly come out of my mouth, it would be a huge problem. To deal with this problem, I need to practice through chatting with people and reading the newspaper.

I can only test one word after another. It is a huge waste of time and effort, but it is already bearing fruit.

As for my background, I have already prepared it long ago. Under my arrangements, a fallen noble family from the Mist Country has been living in this city for more than two decades. Their ancestors once helped the previous king to ascend to the throne, thus receiving the title of a Knight, bringing the family to prosperity. In the current generation, they might have lost their aristocratic title and are barely maintaining their lifestyle through a few plots of farmland, but they can still be considered as members of nobility.

The family has a son afflicted with leprosy who is named Rolo. He was sent to the monastery to live a life away from the world. He would occasionally return, but with bandages and black cloth wrapped all over his body for fear of afflicting others with his illness, leaving his appearance an enigma.

Just four years ago, perhaps his sincere prayers were heard by the Heavens, and so the God of Light performed a miracle and healed the pitiful young man. He was granted the identity of a Holy Knight and the young man, inconceivably, risked his life to head to the Underground World alone.

In the eyes of most of the nobles in the city, it is just another story that the Holy Church came up with to spread its influence. The man isn’t coming back, so no one would be able to verify the story anyway. However, what surprised everyone was that there was a continuation to the story.

The population felt regretful for this young man who was miraculously healed, yet in a moment of recklessness, charged headlong to his death. However, he actually managed to return half a month later. Furthermore, he brought quite a lump of fortune back with him. The nickname of that man is Rolo, whereas his real name is Rolande.

Currently, under the intentional efforts of a certain someone, that legendary story has started to spread around the city.

Alright, at this point, everyone should have guessed that the certain someone is me.

Yes, this nineteen year old Rolo doesn’t actually exist, and that family is a group of people that I sent out twenty years ago. All real characters who are involved with this identity have long settled down in Liu Huang Mountain City.

In order to make these two identities more believable, I personally played the role of Rolo the few times he came into contact with his neighbors. Furthermore, I even intentionally left behind some personal quirks, such as a weird intonation while speaking and a bizarre sitting posture.

Preparing twenty years ahead just for a nobility status and a clean background seems excessive? No, in my perspective, I feel that I have not yet done enough.

It is frustrating, but in this world, the humans who govern the world are probably the most xenophobic of all the races. If one wants to do well in the human society or even rise to the social status of a high noble who has a say in governance, it is necessary for that noble status to have been passed down for at least three generations. Furthermore, if you are seen as a spy by another race, all your efforts will have gone down the drain.

Of course, there are many blank holes in the story I came up with. If someone were to investigate my background, there would be many suspicious points to it. However, it would be more trustworthy to have an identity that is suspicious than an entirely blank slate. An unknown background could be a weakness which others could attack. If there are only suspicions, others would have to retrieve evidence to prove that my identity is a fake. That would be difficult.

Recently, I have been strolling the streets almost every day and greeting the uncle and auntie next door, as well as the store vendors. I do this all while showcasing those weird quirks of mine. This is to let the two identities overlap and raise the credibility of my fake identity.

However, due to certain reasons and my pathetic Luck, I seem to have overdone it…

“Puu, Rolande, I hear that you’re into old grannies?”

Nonsense! Is there such a nonsensical interest? It’s just that the darned daily mission required me to help old grannies across the road, for ten times. However, there isn’t the so-called pedestrian walkway and the number of horse carriages are even fewer. In the end, after waiting for an entire afternoon, I only managed to find three old grannies to fulfill the requirement. I even had to beg them to let me help them across the road… I was caught looking around for old grannies with a light in my eyes and to fawn over them, resulting in such an absurd nickname.

“No no, the one I heard is the Wild Dog Terminator.”

Rubbish, dogs are the human’s best friends. I really liked the mission to bathe the wild dogs, it’s just that the dogs hated it… After experiencing the sharp teeth and honed claws a few times, it was fortunate that I was able to cast Holy Light, otherwise, I would be unable to face anyone the next day.

“Ahh, I heard that you followed a beautiful lady all around with bad intentions, and in the end, you got arrested on the spot?”

Bullshit, my objective was only to strike evil and clear away those gangsters! But it is a pity that I failed to catch a single gangster that day. As expected, is it because my Holy Knight’s concealment skill isn’t up to par? As for getting arrested, I am a Holy Knight, so how is it possible for me to get arrested? It took me some time to persuade the police.

Other than allowing me to deeply understand that the System is still as darned as always, the outcome of these missions also made me comprehend that doing good deeds are harder compared to performing evil acts. It made that ‘legendary Rolande’ and ‘the fortunate lad Rolande’, turn into ‘overly-enthusiastic and kind Rolande’ and then into ‘the Rolande next door with a screw loose’ and finally ‘It is a pity, the lad is young but his brain has been burnt by the Holy Light’.

“It’s okay. This way, the others would have a more striking impression of me. Being a little more foolish suits the background of me rushing hot-headed into the Underground World to die. It is a good thing! A good thing!” This is me deceiving myself in tears and blood.

But sometimes, when misfortune comes one after another and one’s reputation keeps crumbling, there is a limit to deceiving oneself…

“A good thing, your head. Previously, the cute little sister from the flower shop opposite here used to look at me with adoration, but now it’s turned into sympathy, as though looking at a lackwit! There are even people behind me shouting, ‘Don’t give up on hope, don’t give up on treatment’. It took just one week for my entire image to be destroyed. If this goes on, the identity of Lich Roland with a screw loose will turn into Holy Knight Rolande whose brain got burnt by Holy Light.”

But in order to get stronger as soon as possible, the darned daily missions that are growing increasingly worse must be done. I am starting to miss that evil System that pranks others. These days, doing good deeds is really much tougher than scheming evil acts.

“Helping an old granny across the road causes me to be suspected of wanting to rob the elderly. Helping others carry their luggage causes me to be suspected of theft. Voluntarily sweeping the streets and yet I am treated like a lunatic. Helping to bathe the dog and shave its hair, yet others think I intended to make a dog hotpot. Can humans have a little bit more trust in each other? System, you have won. Can you take pity on my fallen reputation and image and let me off the hook!”

Right now, even Diana, that silly older sister, looks at me weirdly. Seeing how I am when I was scammed by the System, she wasn’t as surprised as before and instead, she nods her head as though it were natural, seemingly saying that ‘Un, Roland should be like that. As expected, the dignified Judge Wumianzhe is a fake persona.’

Today, while flipping halfway through the news, I was attracted by an article from three months ago.

“The powerful Auland Empire’s new Emperor is about to ascend to the throne. 42 subordinate states including Bub Communal Country, East Mist Communal Country and Carsilo Kingdom will be sending members of their royalty to give their blessings. Experts have predicted that during the ceremony, they will offer their flags to proclaim their loyalty and trust…”

“Kacha.” A crisp sound and the newspaper is torn into two.

“Subordinate state!?”

My blood pressure suddenly rises up. I can no longer see the remaining words. An inexplicable rage and feeling of wrongness fuels the flames in my heart and yet, I cannot find an outlet to vent it.

I knew that the East Mist Communal Country hasn’t been that powerful and independent a country for the last thousand years. I also understood that it is common practice for smaller states to proclaim their loyalty to larger states. But the moment I think about the Mist War Flag, which represents the spirit of unyielding and protection, is about to be placed below the royal flag of a certain Empire, the feeling of oppression makes me so angry that I could kill someone.

“Those darned unfilial descendants, useless!! To actually reach such a state that they have to swear loyalty to other countries. You have soiled the thousand years of pride and honor of the Mist Bloodline.”

Alright, even though I know that my resentment isn’t rational, but the inexplicable flame still causes me to rage within the room.

It takes a long moment before I calm down. I sigh helplessly.

“Sigh, I can’t really blame them for it.”

I know that there are some things that can’t be blamed on the future generations. It is already quite a great feat for them to rebuild our homeland. If I must blame, I can only blame our generation which brought our country to its knees.

Thus, after calming down, I gaze once again at the newspaper I had torn up and start stitching it back together.

Although it is very infuriating, this intelligence is still very crucial, so there is a need for me to study it carefully.

“The new Emperor Darsos, isn’t that the King of Winter Wolves in history? Although he is that unfortunate fellow who turned gay for Victoria, his military achievements are still quite striking in history, so he isn’t someone to be underestimated.”

Then, when I think about Victoria and the tragic ending of Darsos, somehow my spirits are lifted. A twisted idea full of bad intentions pops up once again.

“For an Emperor of such a great Empire, it might be because he’s had enough of luxurious flesh, and that’s why he ended up so infatuated with a rare, androgynous beauty like Victoria. And while Victoria isn’t here anymore, Krose still is, and she’s an extreme beauty that sides more towards the androgynous side. If so, why don’t I try to twist his sexual orientation, make him leave behind another famous line in history.”

Alright, even though I just said it teasingly to vent my frustration at the Mist royalty for being forced to bow their heads, Krose, who was spreading her faith in the plaza, suddenly feels a cold chill down her spine and shivers, as though misfortune is about to strike her.

After which, I flipped to the last page of the newspaper, where there are drawings and a short summary on the representatives that the different subordinate states are sending to attend the inauguration ceremony.

“East Mist Communal Country, here it is. A princess? Reyne.Qin.Mist?”

“Kacha!” The newspaper that took me much effort to stitch back together is completely destroyed. This time, it wasn’t because of rage but rather, I was completely surprised at this sight in front of me.

On the corner of the newspaper, there is a vivid drawing of a valiant female Knight dressed in silver armor, waving to the crowds with a warm smile on her face.

“Knight Princess Reyne, the final descendant of the Mist, is well-trusted by her people.”

A person who is falsely making use of the Mist name as one of its descendants? All of these assumptions can be dumped down the gutter. Looking at the face of the valiant female Knight, I have to admit it even if I don’t want to.

“Rolande!! Look at this! This Lord Princess really looks like you and Rolo, could you all be from the same family? Don’t even try to deny it, this time there is even evidence here. Quick, let Momo meet the cute little Rolo.”

Momo rushes in and waving in her hand is the exact same newspaper which I was holding.

That Knight Princess named Reyne actually had a face that is 90% similar to mine! If it weren’t for that bit of femininity between her eyebrows, instead of masculinity, as well as her sharper face and her slightly thinner eyebrows, we would be identical.

Staring fixedly at the drawing of the young lady, I secretly make up my mind.

“Looks like we must first head to the capital of Auland, Kagersi City.”

The full name of the Ming United Kingdoms is Ming Ting United Kingdom which literally translates to The Ming Court United Kingdom (Think of those historical Chinese dramas where the king sits on the throne, while the other officials report daily matters to him)

Somehow, it sounds awkward so I shortened it to Ming United Kingdom (which also sounds weird)

Androgynous beauty -> Think of a beauty with traits of both male and female. For example, Japanese has a category of man called bishounen. Although Krose is a female now, she has features of guys as well.


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