Speed Is King

Somewhere deep within the hidden folds of the planes where only Strange Gods reside, a little flame sprouted out of nowhere upon the wide open expanse of grassland that seemed to never ever end.

“Hey! Look! There in Oldie’s area… Is that a flame??” A big fat god of some strange aspect of life shouted with spit slobbering everywhere.

He was seated on a translucent throne that hovered atop a blue coloured expanse of grassland that had around a thousand flames of various sizes burning.

Around a million miles away from him, a thin wiry woman with the biggest pair of mountainous boobs you could ever imagine opened a pair beautiful eyes to glance lazily at the spot where the fat god was talking about.

“Whoa. You’re right. Oldie got a new follower!” She opened her beautiful pair of perfectly succulent lips and said in a sing song voice that was so heartbreakingly sweet that normal human beings would probably weep the moment they heard it.

She opened another three pairs of eyes to look at the little flame properly.

“It’s hardly a flame though. It’s more like a wisp. Not a true believer yet, it’s not even a fraction of the size of my dumbest and weakest believer.” She closed all four pairs of her eyes and sighed in pleasure as she fidgeted slightly on her throne to allow the vortex of heat arising from the millions upon millions of green flames that were burning brightly beneath her to warm her butt properly.

“Boast much will you?” The fat god grumbled good naturedly. “If my bunch of idiot races did not get themselves biologically wiped out by a virus, I would be much stronger than you!”

“Sigh Fatty. If you keep dwelling on the past, when will you make a better future for yourself? Quit whining and try to motivate those bunch of fat survivors of yours to copulate and multiply themselves!” The beautiful six eyed goddess said.

“I have a better idea. Why don’t WE cop-“

“No. Good bye.” The six eyed goddess didn’t bother letting the fat god finish his words before shutting him off.

Wrooh.

A massive barrier suddenly appeared between their vast expanses of land.

“Hey! At least hear me out! My plan is epic!” The fat god hollered at the direction of the six eyed goddess, but no response came.

“Ah damn it. Life sucks. Why am I even a god if all I get to do is sit here and wait for believers to believe? I should go check out the lives of the mortals! But… I am too lazy. Damn it all!” The fat god shouted angrily and leaned lazily back on his comfortable throne.

He gave the single little flame that was flickering within the vast expanse of Oldie’s area another quick glance before yawning and falling asleep.

The little flame kept flickering, and it looked like it was about to go out when a deep, rueful sigh sounded from within the area where it was.

“That relentless little man. He certainly is a stubborn one. I told him not to bother spreading news about me. Too bad that Ice Bitch has a hold on him already. If not, I will certainly make him my Chief Apostle. Ah well. Let’s see how long this little believer will last this time. If he can last for a full month, I might just give him a chance…” Came a mumbling, exhausted voice that seemed to be talking to himself aloud.

The flame flickered wildly for a moment, and then slowly started to dim.

“Ah well. Not even an hour huh? That stubborn little man may be really nice, but he sure has a really bad sense of judgement. None of his prospects lasted more than a day of silence! And this one! Not even one hour! Woe! Woe!! Has the name God of Ages disappeared so much that none are left to wonder at how generous I am? A full rebirth for just a swearing of allegiance! Woe! Woe!” The God of Ages mourned his extremely sad fate and lost himself in abject misery once more.

His plot of land was the largest in that particular Folded God Realm, as befitting his position of leadership before.

Out of one thousand Gods who call that particular Folded God Realm home, he had the largest area due to his once mighty religion that spanned tens of Planes and thousands of Realms.

Once, his expanse of grassland was completely filled with trillions of little flames. But now… He was miserably alone.

Not even a single believer remained alive!

A couple of days passed in complete silence as the God of Ages mourned his sad fate.

On the third day…

pan,d a-n0vel Whoosh.

The flickering flame suddenly expanded in size!

It doubled, then tripled, then quintupled!

“Huh?” The God of Ages blinked a couple of times as he was forcefully brought out of his miserable reverie.

He looked at the much larger flame in complete shock.

“It… grew in size? What the hell? I thought it died! Hohoho… at this size, it might have a chance at lasting for a complete week. It’s still pathetically small. It’ll probably die in ten days. Haiya. Poor me! Poor me! Ah well. Life is what life is. Let’s see how you handle the silence of the Gods!” A slight tinge of excitement appeared in his voice which was quickly stamped on to avoid getting his hopes up.

But from that moment on, his eyes were both unmovingly fixed onto that little flame.

Each time it flickered, his mouth twitched slightly. Each time it expanded in size, his eyes widened slightly.

Baltamiros, The God of Ages, was afterall, a very, very, very lonely God.

His last follower died more than a million years ago.

And for the past million years, he had been unable to leave his Folded God Realm due to a secret which he was hiding.

He had found the method to power up.