Reject Humanity, Return to Monke

When I realized the moment Uius said that the Mons would be the only ones able to damage the Bartizans, he wasn't kidding. Earlier, I tried to hit the Bartizan with my Monke Staff, and as a result, the Bartizan was cleaner than usual.

Plus, the Bartizan fired a goddamned laser at me. Without time to react, I was blasted out of the attack radius of the Bartizan, a pained cry escaping my lips. As I landed on the ground and tumbled for a good, few meters, I stood up and dusted off the dirt that was clinging to my clothes and fur.

'Note to self, don't hit the Bartizan.' I noted in my head with a grimace. Was it a stupid idea? Maybe. Was it worth it? Hell yeah.

Due to that tiny experiment, I found out that a Dungeon Master hitting a Bartizan would result in it getting repaired, by how much, I don't know, as well as blasting said Dungeon Master with a laser that was quite harmless, but forceful enough to throw you out of its attack range.

HP: 6,330 / 7,330

'… Okay, maybe not completely harmless…' stood up shakily as my stomach that tanked the hit grumbled in protest at the beating it took from the laser, as well as something else. 'It also gives you hunger… Why though…?'

Shaking my head at that thought, I focused on the Mons that were doing their best to nick at the towering Bartizan with all their might. Despite their best efforts, their attacks were the equivalent of an ant biting the towering structure.

'Oh well, that's what I should expect from the low-level damage output they still have. We need more Damage upgrades if we want to destroy those Bartizans faster…' Pursing my lips in thought, I waited until I saw Catalina running by me and giving me a tap on the shoulder.

"Thanks for holding the lane. I can take it from here." She gave me a peck on the cheek as she went back to farming the Mons with the enemy laner still missing. Giving the catwoman a smile, I gave her a kiss to the cheek as well, eliciting a moan from catwoman. "Do that again, and I don't think I'll be able to hold back."

She licked her lips, and I chuckled.

"Hah, as much fun that would be, we have a competition to win. Maybe later once we're done with the events. Our Dungeons are connected, right?" She gave me a sultry smile as she playfully punched my arm.

"Deal. You better not disappoint. I have some kinks I want to show you." And with that, she zoomed off into the mid lane, leaving me with a very confused, but curious look as to what would be happening in the bedroom with her.

"I'll look forward to it!" Shouting out my response, she gave me a thumbs up, and I left the lane in favor of once again farming in the Jungle.

My Jungle, that is. I wonder, are there any wards here? Information is a key component in this type of competition, and even just a sliver of information telling us where their positions are is crucial to obtaining victory.

Sighing from the thought, I rushed into the Jungle and took all of the camps before their Jungler could invade mine and take it for himself.

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"Jionni, we could use a little help here!" Not a few minutes into my farming spree, I heard Oshurkova's voice ring in my ear through the transceiver.

"I'm close. On my way." I replied and quickly rushed to the bot lane, after clearing the camps, of course.

Resources + 300

Not wasting anytime, I dove into a brush and quickly felt the unknown substance coat me in its weirdness. Camping and waiting, I quickly called out to Oshurkova with the transceiver.

"Kova, I'm in the brush nearby. Bring them closer to me. I can take them by surprise." I said, and not a moment later, I saw Oshurkova making direct eye contact with me, even though I should be invisible. 'Maybe it's a team thing, where those in the same team can see me. I think that's the use of the weird substance coating me right now.'

"Alright. Give 'em hell." She whispered that to the transceiver, making sure not to give the surprise away by erratically running into the brush I was waiting in. Typhial was right beside her, doing her best to protect Oshurkova, even though their roles are completely opposite.

'No wonder they're losing. Typhial is adamant about playing Support instead of Carry. I know it's her choice to do so, but doing so may be a detriment in the long run if it costs us the match.' I thought grimly as I looked at the flying harpy. 'We should probably address that concern later after the match.'

Oshurkova rushed into the brush where I was waiting, and just right after her, Typhial did so as well. The two Dungeon Masters that were chasing them, who turned out to be a minotaur and a human wielding a giant crossbow, didn't stop and rushed into the brush without any sort of idea that I was in here waiting.

The moment they did so, I jumped into action. Enlarging my Monke Staff (It's becoming a staple in my arsenal now), I coated it with lightning and swung it towards the two of them in a horizontal arc. It was impossible to miss, since the huge staff was 5 meters long, and 3 meters wide, and the minotaur was the size of a truck.

If I missed that attack, I would be labeled like that masochistic crusader in an isekai anime I watched back on Earth. The minotaur, not expecting a giant staff to hit him on his ribs, cried out in pain as he was knocked into the human carrying the giant crossbow, who also uttered a cry of pain due to the probably one ton of beef crashing into him, and squishing him into the wall, a crated forming around the two bodies.

*Dungeon Master Eudo knocked out*

*Respawn in 38 seconds*

Resources + 500

'Holy Lord Faben All Mighty. Literal one shot.' I snickered in my mind and watched as the minotaur tried to pry himself out of the crater, only to be introduced by a fireball to the face, courtesy of Oshurkova.

*Dungeon Master Tymun knocked out*

*Respawn in 33 seconds*

Resources + 500

"Thanks for the save." Oshurkova breathed out as she struggled for a bit of air. "I was never a good combatant…"

"Nonsense, my Queen! I-I mean, Lady Oshurkova!" Typhial quickly corrected herself, but the words were already said. Oshurkova just looked fed up with the word. In a response to make up for her mistake, she quickly added, "That earth parasite and low-grade beef weren't anything special! They were just… Just… Lucky! Yes! They were just lucky that we weren't prepared for their special combo attack!"

"… You know, what? I'll take it." Oshurkova said with a sigh, causing Typhial to beam. As a spectator, I have no idea what transpired, but less problems equals happy life.

"You're welcome, by the way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I should go steal the enemy Jungler's camps again."

"Jungle?" Both Oshurkova and Typhial asked, and I facepalmed at forgetting to tell them my lingo or definition of terms about the different aspects of a MOBA.

"Just think of them as the areas separating the mid lane from both the top and bottom lane." I replied, and they gave me a nod. "Good? Then I'll be off. Remember, if you go back to base, you can buy any upgrade you want, other than the movement one yet. Of course, it would be better if you consulted the team first."

"Roger that." Oshurkova gave me a grin and I waved my arm at her as I quickly dashed off.

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Okay, it's been about half an hour already, and we were in the lead. I've only been knocked out once more, leaving my 'deaths' to two, and I've 'killed' about three more Dungeon Masters, leaving my 'kills' to six. To better grasp my current standing, here is my K/D/A.

6 / 2 / 3

Those three assists were from helping Shrum out of a three-man gank. I guess they were getting afraid of the old-timer.

When I watched him fight, I swore to never get in his way.

His power was simple. Growing mushrooms. Now that wouldn't be anything too hard to handle. You just have to mind the poisonous ones, and you're fine.

The problem here with Shrum is that he can grow mushrooms ANYWHERE, and by anywhere, I mean even inside your fucking body.

I still haven't found a weakness to his skill, but judging from how tired he was, I would say that he requires a lot of energy to even use his unique brand of magic.

Right now, we were inside the enemy base, with a bunch of our Mons pushing in. They were no longer the wooden soldier puppet lookalike. Currently, they look like a fucking army of real-life sized humans, some of whom are more than 7-feet. There were even some Super Mons in there, with them being taller than the rest with grandiose armor and weapons.

Needless to say, it was all over.

The Dungeon Masters on the other team were still trying to Respawn, but their timers still had more than half a minute left, and since our Mons were already directly attacking their Dungeon Core, all we had to do was wipe out the Mons on the other team so the Mons on our team could focus on the Dungeon Core.

When the Dungeon Core shattered, I grinned, and couldn't help but utter out a phrase I'd wanted to say ever since I knew about this MOBA event being a thing.

"GG, EZ GAME."