Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

356 May the Storm Rage in My Face!



Chen Xiaobei: But...? But what? Don't keep me waiting! 

NeZha: But I don't know what good there is for you precisely. (Sticking tongue out) You'll just have to wait for an announcement from The Primeval Lord of Heaven.

Chen Xiaobei: Huh. Bummer…

NeZha: They're working on the bridge to earth as we speak. You should receive the news in a few days, and I will definitely notify you when The Primeval Lord of Heaven enters the group.

Chen Xiaobei: Alright, I'll wait… Oh, right- do you know who is interested in joining the mission?

NeZha: I'm definitely coming, and I heard that Sister Chang'e is interested too! And if she's coming, so would Bajie; and if he comes Bajie's friends including Yanwang, Bull Head, Horse Face, Black and White Officers of Impermanence would definitely tag along too! They are coming to earth for delicious food!

Chen Xiaobei: Erm… Okay. I'll have to stop you right there! I think my heart can't take it anymore!

"NeZha and Chang'e can blend into the human world easily after changing their outfits. But, how the hell are those weird looking deities going to blend in the crowd? A pig-faced creature on my left, a blue-faced guy with a gloomy aura on my right, along with a bunch of small-time ghosts behind me! Man, this is insane!" Chen Xiaobei thought, his hair raised as he imagined the scene.

NeZha: God Chen, don't you worry! Didn't I tell you that those deities or weird looking chat group members are no different from ordinary human being once they come to earth? It means that they'll be transformed into normal looking humans, and their abilities and merit points will be sealed off temporarily too!

Chen Xiaobei: That's better! (Wiping off sweat)

NeZha: I'm leaving first if there's nothing else! To welcome The Primeval Lord of Heaven into our chat group, the members of Chanism are going to flood the it with Red Envelopes! I have to prepare the items that I want to give out during the welcoming event!

Chen Xiaobei: Off you go… And don't steal your dad's shit. He might spank you for real this time!

NeZha: I'm not going to steal from him. (Sticking tongue out)

...…..

Chen Xiaobei pocketed his cellphone. His mood now was rather opaque, but he did not linger. As the saying goes: life is like being raped. If you could not resist, then learn to enjoy it!

"Goddess Chang'e! Sister Zhinv! Seven Goddesses! Silver Fox… May the storm rage in my face! Bahahaha…" He laughed evilly when he thought about the things that he could do. Meeting those goddesses were what ordinary people always dreamed of!

*Whooosh*

The sound of blades echoed in the dark.

"Huh?!" Chen Xiaobei's quick reflexes allowed him to lift up his hand and catch a black Shuriken between his fingers. "This is... Japanese?"

He turned around to see a man in a pitch-black outfit moving swiftly in the small forest by the road.

"It seems like you have a death wish!"

Chen Xiaobei charged into the forest without a second thought!

"That bastard's fast!" The Japanese guy then shouted in Japanese for aid. "Shankou-san! Ambush him now!"

"This is too fast for you? You haven't my real speed!"

With a cold smile, Chen Xiaobei ignored the guy named Shankou. With his Lightning Steps, he dashed around the forest like a phantom. He quickly caught up to the Japanese guy that ambushed him!

*Whoosh*

*Whoosh*

*Whoosh*

Three arrows streaked towards the path that Chen Xiaobei headed. However, all three failed to hit him; the arrows were fast, but he was faster.

"Oh God! What's with that speed?" An exclamation could be heard from the top of the tree on Chen Xiaobei's left – the person who shot those arrows at him was hiding there.

The second assailant then shouted loudly to remind his partner, "Sanshi-kun! Be careful…"

*Thud!*

A loud muffled sound broke the silence. Chen Xiaobei had landed a heavy punch on Sanshi, and it was powerful enough to send him flying. He stopped after breaking a small tree as thick as two arms-length before passing out.

"Sanshi Kun! F*ck! Chen Xiaobei! Die now!" The man called Shankou shouted loudly and angrily from the tree.

He aimed at Chen's head with his God's Arm Crossbow, a special Chinese cold weapon!

According to an ancient text, the crossbow could shoot as far as two hundred and forty paces, and when fired could penetrate a tree trunk as deep as half the bolt. That was equivalent to three hundred and seventy meters, and as deep as thirty centimeters! It was probably far more powerful than any modern gun!

"Wind!"

One of the bolts tore through the cold air with a sharp noise! Not even the most powerful deity could save the person if the arrow strikes their head!

"Weak ass weapon!" Chen Xiaobei stood fearlessly; he raised his arm and gave an order. "Sword! Go!"

*Swooosh*

A bloody red flash charged against the incoming arrow. The arrow was then split in half and dropped to the ground.

"Oh my god… What the hell is that?" Shankou screamed in fear. He soon felt something flying past his shoulder. "Huh?"

Stunned, he did not feel anything unusual at first. And then he became petrified.

*Thud!*

"Splash*

His right arm was slashed off cleanly and dropped to the ground. Blood shot out from his shoulder like a little fountain, the excruciating pain made him drop from the tree too. A bloody mist blanketed the night sky as Shankou remained clueless of whatever took his arm off. And fear of the unknown was the worst!

"Tell me! Who sent you?" Chen Xiaobei walked towards Shankou deliberately and glared at him as if he were a king who stood at the top of the world.

"I'll tell you! Never!" Shankou's face turned pale.

He pressed on his wound and bit down against the pain. Chen Xioabei could tell from the distortion on his face as well as his determination that his enemy would never reveal anything. 

"Hehe… Not too long ago, I met a guy that called himself a Japanese man! And was really proud of his samurai spirit!" Chen Xiaobei laughed coldly, took out a silver needle. "Take a guess. Do you think that I will get the answer I want after I poke this needle into your body? Do you want to give it a try?"

There was no doubt; he was holding the Needle of Damnation!

"Huh…"

Shankou inhaled deeply. It was impossible for him live through this day.

*Crack*

His jaw twitched, and a mouthful of black blood flowed out from Shankou's mouth immediately. Soon, his head drooped and his eyes were devoid of life. 

"Huh? So, he's a legendary fighter with the Kamikaze spirit!" Chen Xiaobei raised his eyebrows and laughed haughtily. "Did you really think that I can't get what I want after you committed suicide? Naïve!"

He walked toward the unconscious Sanshi.


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