Imperfect Desires

"It's a scary thing when a person you admire is suddenly revealed to be absolutely, truly human." ~Kate Jacobs

This quote was the thing running through Xiu's mind when she and Darren were on their way back home. She had constantly been staring at the side of his face while Darren had been busy with reading through his mails. It wasn't a secret that Xiu admired Darren. But tonight, she learned something that made her look at him in a completely different light.

She thought back to how earlier Zhao Wei had told her, "Although Regan looks like someone who has the best in the world, it hadn't always been like that. It isn't like that even now. He had been through a lot more than he cares to admit. He always got the shorter end in life from the moment he was born. But what I personally love about him is how he always manages to keep his head up." 

Xiu had noticed how she took a pause as if to collect her emotions before holding Xiu's hands in her own and saying, "Can you take care of him for us? He loves to say that he is independent. He is independent. But he tends to forget his own needs most of the time. So, you'll really have to put a little effort into taking care of him. I hope I'm not asking for much."

Seeing the vulnerable look in her eyes, Xiu shook her head, "It's not much. Actually, I find it really heartwarming instead." Xiu smiled which made her happiness palpable even in her eyes. 

Zhao Wei patted the back of her hand adding, "To be honest, you don't have to do much. It isn't that difficult." Xiu's brows quirked up slightly and Zhao Wei went on, "You just have to become his reason to live. I'm sure he'll start taking care of himself for your sake. That had always been his nature, he loves to live for the people he loves."

Xiu's zoned out eyes only focused back to the present when Darren clicked his fingers before her eyes to get her attention. "Sweets, is my face that interesting? Why have you been staring for so long?"

Xiu cleared her throat to hide her embarrassment before saying, "I wasn't staring for that long."

"We're already home," announced Darren her eyes go round. No wonder he looked so amused, she had been staring at him all the way to the home. Well, that was weird and awkward!

"So what? I can stare at my boyfriend for as long as I want," said Xiu in a sharper tone than intended as she opened the door of her side and got off. "Besides, what I don't like is other girls staring at you as I do. Only I'm allowed to do that!" 

As Darren alighted from the car and came beside her, she held his sleeve like she always did. Darren couldn't help curling his lips up in a small but sweet smile at her habit that she unintentionally did. It was such a sweet gesture how she always held his sleeve as if scared that she'd lose him in the crowd or something.

Darren shook his head at her before intertwining his fingers with hers, "If you really don't want other girls to have any ideas about me, you need to start taking my hand in yours, showing your ownership with the right. As if to declare that I belong to you."

Xiu looked up into his eyes and lost her soul in those gray orbs without knowing it. See, this was exactly what made her fall deeper in love with him. Seeing that shine in his eyes, she was reminded of how he had his own storms to pass through and yet, he never let the darkness of those storms reach his soul.

They say, eyes are the windows to one's soul, and all she found was a beautiful soul behind those eyes like the beautiful person he was. It actually made her feel envious to see how strong he was or at least, pretended to be.

All of a sudden, Xiu wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him taking Darren by surprise. "If I could, I'd stick to you like this to let everyone know that you're mine. MINE!"

Darren caressed her head softly as he said, "Should I scream to the world?"

Darren saw her nodding her head before shaking her head as she changed her mind split second saying, "Forget it. I don't have to prove to anyone that you're mine. As long as you know that you're mine. That's enough."

Darren pulled her away from his embrace a little to look at her face, his face slowly leaned down. Close enough that the tip of his nose was touching hers. At this distance, he found her eyes really enchanting. It was the first time, he felt like he got what he actually wished for. He always wished for Chen Xiu to love him just a little bit. And even though it was weird seeing her with a completely different face, he really started to accept her as both Chen Xiu and Bai Xiu. And it was even more fascinating how she looked at him just like he always wanted her to; full of love.

The look in his eyes was so intense that Xiu felt like she was gonna burn down right there and then. She tried avoiding his eyes by looking anywhere but him. However, he made it impossible when his hand held the back of her face and his lips smacked against hers making her eyes go wide. 

The kiss was soft enough to make her heart feel tingles but it was intense enough to start a fire in her heart as well. Xiu slowly closed her eyes letting herself drown in the feelings that only he managed to bring out somehow. She clutched his arms to keep her balance otherwise her jelly legs would have given way long ago.

Both Darren or Xiu didn't know for how long they kissed but when they pulled away, they both could see the same emotions surging in each other's eyes. "What was that for?" she asked.

Darren rubbed her bottom lip with his thumb while he bit his own and answered, "You said I should know I'm yours. Then I should also let you how ardently I'm in love with you." While Xiu was processing his words, he leaned close to her ear and whispered in a husky voice, "Also, because I really wanted to kiss you."

Xiu was left baffled at how he gave her a smirk before touching her head and saying, "Good night! Have beautiful dreams. I'll see you in the morning." Xiu nodded her head in a daze but when she saw him not moving, she raised her brows inquisitively at him. "Sweets, I have to see you go inside first." He waved with his hand gesturing her to go inside and only moved when Xiu was inside her apartment.

Xiu leaned against the closed door and took a long sigh taking in the events of that day. She slowly lifted her hand to touch her lips and with a huge smile went on to do her nightly routine.

Later when she laid down to sleep, her phone chimed and she picked it up to see a text from Darren. Xiu frowned slightly before clicking it to read. It read, "Sweets, good night! I had a wonderful evening. Now m' lady, make my breakfast even more wonderful and accompany me to breakfast tomorrow." In the end, he even added a pleading emoji making Xiu chuckle.

Xiu thought about how he spent hours with her and yet didn't forget to send her a text before sleeping as always. He really was crazy or too good at dating. Xiu typed the answer, "Hmm... I'd love to, Sir Regan!"

Seeing that he sent the emoji showing how excited he was almost instantly, Xiu shook her head and whispered, "Idiot! How much more do you want me to love you? Can I fall any deeper than this? Can I really love you any more than this moment?" She took a pause before replying to herself, "I think if it's you. I really can fall deeper than this."