I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

Chapter 295 – Face Your Problems

The world was gray in a sense. 

There was muffled laughter around me; people enjoying themselves. 

It was a festival. 

A festival.

Laughter. 

Merry.

And fun.

Then why the hell did I feel this way?

Why the hell did I feel like crying?

Why the hell did I feel like killing myself?

Marg hadn't even seen the message, let alone send a reply. 

I smiled. I didn't know why.

I just walked, not looking ahead. 

My feet dragged. 

They didn't want to walk. 

But they had to. 

I had to.

I didn't look ahead, just below. 

People moved aside. 

Whispers. 

I could hear faint whispers. 

People were probably talking behind my back. I couldn't hear them: no, I didn't hear them. 

Well, what was new, I guess?

I still smiled. 

I didn't know why.

***

Before long, I was already at the edge of the academy, bout to head out. 

Go home?

I didn't know. Did I even have a home? If I went back, I'd have to face them….

Maybe I'd head to the forest and let insects run over me to torment myself. 

Seemed fitting enough. 

Maybe, just go on a hill and jump? It would suck if it wouldn't kill me though. So maybe not.

Sigh. 

"Hey!" Someone came running from behind. "HEY!! Been looking for ya!"

Eve. Evengeline Rodwhich. 

"What do you want?"

She panted, hand on her knees.  "What's with the mood?" She staggered a step back. "Something happened?"

"No, not really. Nothing happened."

"Uh-huh?" She caught her breath. "Anyway, I was thinking of lighting up some fireworks. You know, those big ones. Want to go see some this evening? And didn't you see my mail?"

"Maybe…" Marg still hadn't sent a reply. If she had, my Holo would have buzzed. "Not."

She looked awfully puzzled. "Seriously, did something happen to you?"

I smiled. "No, nothing really."

Her brows knitted together and she glared. Sparks, no, ambers flew. 

Was she angry?

Why?

"You know, sometimes you just piss me off. If you're that unhappy with life, just fucking face your problems already. I often see you wagging your tail around and just obeying people like dogs. Don't you have a will of your own?" She clicked her tongue. "Geez, man up a little, man."

What the hell?

What the hell was this woman saying?

Me wagging my tail?

Like a dog?

She was the last person I wanted to hear that from. 

"Did you come all this way, just to make fun of me?"

"If I wanted to make fun of you, I'd have just laughed at you when I saw you walking out. I wouldn't have come running." She turned around and started walking. "I don't' know what happened. And frankly, I'm not interested cause it probably involves that brat. But, seriously, instead of being depressed just deal with it man. Everyone has to deal with their shit: everyone has to make decisions. Just deal with it." She left. 

Deal with it?

How?

How could I possibly deal with something like this?

'You can fly.'

Even the shadow started making fun of me. 

A surge of anger.

Damn!

I stomped the ground. 

Exhale!

And yet, I knew she was right. I did often run away from my problems. I could never make any decisions. 

'Face my problems…'

But, wait, I could fly.

'I could just go over-'

I first dismissed the thought of going over to her. 

Reason being, I didn't know if she was going to see me or not. But I guess, that was just an excuse. 

I was making excuses. I was running away. Or more like staying away. 

'Not anymore.' Eve was right, I had to face my problems. 

Frankly, it didn't matter: it didn't matter if Marg was going to run away. I was going to see her whether she liked it or not. 

'If I have to beg-'

Even if I had to beg, swear to never touch another woman, always, always be loyal to her, I was going to do that. 

I was going to swear my loyalty.

I didn't care. 

I knew other girls loved me.

And I knew I was developing feelings for them. 

But Marg was special. And-

I loved her. 

And I had to get rid of this guilt, this pain somehow. 

***

Flying never felt so taxing. 

My heart was pumping and my chest, burning. 

My feet were going cold while my palms were sweating. 

And my knees were shaking. 

Nervous.

But, I still flew through the sky, through the clouds. 

To Marg!

And yet with every passing second, I was having more and more second thoughts. What if-

What if.

What if she never-

Sigh. 

I couldn't think. 

'Just fly!'

So, I stopped my thoughts altogether. 

I'd deal with everything once I got there. 

For now.

Just fly.

***

Bahrain was a West Asian Island nation. 

And Marg's father owned one-fourth of the country. 

It wasn't funny.

And their mansion? I could see it even from a mile up. 

It wasn't as big as the Battlesuin mansion but definitely damn close. 

But I was more worried about what to do about Marg.

So, I descended. 

And once I landed, I saw kids playing around. 

Some servants going through the grapevines while others, doing other kinds of work. 

Apart from the mansion, everything looked like the countryside. It was odd how large this whole field was: I couldn't see an end. Not a single house in sight: there were barns here and there though. 

'Then that church she talked about?'

Anyway, I had to first find Marg. 

And so- "Excuse me!" I grabbed a kid. "Know where Marg, Margeretta is?"

"Marg?" One of the kids said: her pronunciation was more like 'Mag'. "There." She pointed. 

She just pointed at the mansion. 

That's it. 

Sigh. 

Oh well. 

I guess I should have started from there. 

So, I just took a deep breath and headed straight for the door. 

'Just stay calm.' As long as I got my point across, as long as I spoke honestly and faced this problem head-on, I was confident it'd work out.

That didn't mean, my heart didn't quiver though. 

Knock! Knock!

'Get ready to be slapped silly Helio… get ready to be slapped…'