I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

The snake was trying to eat me, literally. 

I swung left, I swung right. I dodged left, I dodged right. This wasn't going anywhere and I was slowly dying. 

'Let's hurry this up.'

Actually, at this point, being eaten didn't sound that bad. At least this melting sensation and the pain would cease.

'Wait- I won't be able to eat chocolates!' And I wouldn't be marrying Marg in that case either. 

The snake raised its head up and made a dive for me.

I focused on a bit of plasma, I say a bit it was it a lot. 

A lot! And I wasn't holding back either, I was literally dying- but I shot the large- watermelon-sized plasma at the snake and even created three layers of barriers around us to protect the island and me. 

The accumulation was fast and as I dodged the snake's bite and tail- I slammed the plasma straight for its head!

There was a blast, a very large blast and I was going to have to tank it too. 

'Enira if you don't show up now, I'll never call your name ever again.'

I smiled and grabbed my saber tight, forming another barrier over my body: this was my limit. But I knew it wasn't going to be enough. I'd be pretty roasted today.

And I guess I shouldn't have acted so rudely to her before. 

"You know, when a lady enters the restroom, sometimes, sometimes, it's very important!" A grumpy Enira manifested out of nowhere, hugged me, kissed me, and covered us in a thick barrier- at least thick enough that I couldn't see anything outside the barrier. Or was it just the blast? I couldn't tell. 

I felt faint, but the longer I kissed her, or rather she kissed me, the more rejuvenated I felt. My wounds started to heal and the pain dissipated. 

Cracks formed on the barrier but it never broke. 

She moved her lips to take a breath. "You scared me you know."

"Well, you scared me more. I was this close to dying just now." Actually I never even considered the possibility of me dying. 

What would have happened to me? What about my family?

What about Marg?

'Why the hell was I being this stupid, this rash?"

Seriously, what was wrong with me? Since when was I this careless?

Enira sighed. "We'll I hurried out and though I used a lot of tissue, let's just say I'm kind of filthy right now."

Did she really have to confess that? 

I kind of wanted to drop her but- I kissed her again. "Thank you, and I've delivered on my promise." I let go of her and she let go of me. Though some part of me wanted to kiss her and it wasn't because of that promise. I guess this was being unfaithful to Marg- but my love for Marg had not diminished even slightly.  "Alright, let's take down that thing. You're acquainted, right?"

I didn't care if they were.

"Kind of, yeah. I met him about four hundred years ago in a cava-"

"Yeah, I don't want a history lesson. Just deal with it."

She giggled. "Rude!" She dismissed the barrier in front and around this whole place too. She'd actually erected quite a few barriers and most of them were still intact. 

As the smoke and debris cleared, I saw the barely alive snake. It was still clinging to life. Most of its body was burnt and it couldn't really stand. Half of its face was missing. 

The entire place around us was burning red hot. The black surface surrounding us had turned to lava. Everything was reduced to lava. Apparently, my plasma blast was a bit too powerful. 

'Why the hell had I made it that big anyway?'

Hypothetically if Enira hadn't shown up, not only would I have been roasted, this whole place would have suffered the same thing too. My barriers probably would have mitigated the damage but it was still going to be pretty devastating. 

"It's still alive?"

"He, not it. And let's go over there." Enira created barriers as our footing and we moved forward. 

I stopped right next to the snake and even now he was trying to get up and attack us but it was impossible. 

Seriously, just how tough was this guy?

"Farewell my sworn friend, my brother, my ally- LEON." Enira sliced off his head with my sword. I had no idea when she took it from my belt. Actually I never even got to use it lately. 

The head fell and since the floor was literally made of lava, it caught fire. 

Now that I thought about it, the lizard they'd killed before had already burned and there was nothing left of it. 

"Hurry, the core!" 

"Right…" Though Enira complied and covered the whole body in a barrier to protect it, she seemed a bit too sad. 

She recovered the head too. I was still kind of expecting it to come back to life, but it didn't. 

"Sorry, I guess he meant a lot to you."

She giggled. "Not anymore. That was a long time ago, I don't like to mop about the past." She was faking it. For the first time ever, her time smile was fake. 

I knew her for a short amount and yet, I could tell that this was a sad event for her. 

"Do you want to bury the body? The practical class demanded we hand it over and-" Wait, "Couldn't he come back to life like you?"

Enira stared at me with rather complicated emotions for a second. "I had to pay a great deal for my immortality. He won't come back to life." She sighed. "Let's first take the core. I'd like to at least keep that."

"That goes without a saying. And if you want to keep it and not absorb it, I'll allow that too."

If she wanted to keep it as a memento, I was fine with that. 

She chuckled. "Unfortunately I need their strength and they'd be glad if a friend used them rather than some weirdo."

I got the feeling she was calling me a weirdo. I proceeded to ignore the remark. 

"They?"

"Yes, they. It would seem my friend had actually eaten the rest of my other friends on this island."

The teacher had mentioned something similar too about how a snake was eating all the Mutors in the area.

Well, that made things a lot less complicated. 

"Anyway, let's go."

"Right, and you'll have to get some clothes too."

Half of my stuff was already burnt. My pants were still holding up nicely though. "Not enough time."

"You're not a nudist, are you?"

"Nope, not at all."

Not at all, at all. 

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. Wh-why would you even think that?"

Enira gave me a big wide grin. And just searched for the core, found it, and took it out. It was dark purple in color- blacker than Enira's and almost ten times bigger than all her fragments combined. "I'll absorb it later. For now, let's take this back, okay?"

So, she wanted to absorb it after all.

"Right!"

I still had no idea how. We were literally surrounded by boiling lava and this thing was big- like bigger than Enira's hydra form. 

And that's when Enira lifted the whole body up like it was nothing. She lifted us up with her barrier to around two hundred meters and created a slope, sliding us on another barrier on top of the barrier. 

Well, apparently now we could fly- slide to be more specific. The barriers were invisible to everyone but me, so yeah, it definitely seemed like I was flying. 

And the speed was nothing to sneeze at either. 

"ACCCHOOO!"

I still sneezed though.