Heir of Aurelian

95 The Game of Drink



Decius Flavius Primus sat in a tavern in the Romano-British city of Londinium. Flanking his sides were a series of Roman officers, and across from him was the High King of Hibernia and his attaché. Why were these two powerful men sitting across from one another in a tavern?

Well, it all started when Constantine had taken up arms in rebellion against Honorius. In order to press his claim, he had emptied out the garrisons of Britannia, leaving it virtually defenseless against attackers. Because of that, the Diocese was now in a state of upheaval, as the Picts in the north had crossed Hadrian’s wall and begun to ravage the land.

Without the soldiers of Rome to keep them safe, the people of Britannia had abandoned many of the villages in the north and fled towards the safety of the cities. This was how they managed to survive for the last few years. However, because of this, there was a food shortage, which only caused further recession as brigands and highwaymen ruled the lands.

Upon arriving in the region with his two legions of 12,000 men, Primus had found himself governing a province that had become almost completely lawless. Since his arrival following the defeat of Constantine III in the Pyrenees, Primus had been doing his best with what limited forces he had to quell the unrest and reassert Roman control over Britannia.

However, with the hordes of brigands and Pictish barbarians, Primus soon found that his two legions were far from enough to bring back law and order to the frontier province. Thus, currently, he was meeting with the High King of Hibernia, in the hopes of gaining their assistance with the northern Picts..

Nath Í mac Fiachrach was a renowned warrior from the island of Hibernia, and had risen to his position as the High King after gaining fame for his hostile expeditions to Britannia. He was said to have had wars with the Picts in the past, and Primus used this previous hostility as a means to gain his assistance.

Currently, the two men sat across from one another at a small wooden table. On one side was Primus, on the other was Nath. The two men were accompanied by bar wenches who provided a number of drinks for the men to consume. When Primus had initially sent word to Nath about gaining their aid in the fight against the Picts, the man spat in his messenger’s face.

However, after many concessions made by the Roman General, the Hibernian High King had finally agreed to meet and negotiate a temporary alliance. There was just one caveat: they would determine this alliance based upon a wager. The two leaders would play a drinking game, and the winner would determine whether the Hibernian tribes became Foederati under the control of Primus, or returned to their homes with a chest filled with gold.

Thus, the two men stared at each other fiercely as they picked up their first drinks and gulped down its contents. The ale within them was primitive and was severely lacking in alcohol content compared to their modern counterparts. However, to the men of this era, it was strong enough. Thus, after one drink, both men began sighed in relief before taunting one another. King Nath was quick to insult Primus and boast about his people’s alcoholic tolerance.

“You were a fool to take this wager. My people are experienced drinkers, and there is no way a petty Roman like yourself will be able to defeat me in the game of drink!”

Primus merely scoffed as he swallowed down another horn of ale before responding to the man’s taunts.

“I’ll have you know in the Empire we have introduced a new drink that is far stronger than this. With months of consuming this product under my belt, I doubt you will be able to compete with me!”

After saying this, the bar wench handed off another two drinks, where the men swallowed down its contents as quickly as they could. After a few rounds of beer, the Hibernian King began to question Primus’ intention.

“So you wish to expel the Picts beyond the wall? Better men than you have tried. They always have a way of coming back. I suggest you just deal with them like your predecessors have! Even if you gain my support, do you really think you can defeat so many tribes? There’s a reason those walls were erected!”

Primus gulped down another horn of beer before responding to the Hibernian King’s claims.

“The Emperor has given me orders to secure Britannia and expel the barbarians who ravage the Diocese. I will fulfil these orders even if it is the last thing I do in this world. To do so, I require the aid of the Hibernian tribes as Foederati. You do not know the extent of my resolve. One way or another, you will swear your loyalty to Rome!”

Nath scoffed when he heard this before taking another sip from his horn of ale. By now, the men had gone through six of the devices and were starting to get intoxicated. Yet not to the point where they would lose their mental faculties and slur their words. Thus, the man proudly objected to these claims, while continuing to taunt his Roman rival.

“You can try, but you will not succeed!”

The two men continued drinking long into the night until finally they began to struggle to lift their horns. Both men had shown great resilience to the effects of the Alcohol, but by now they had consumed over twenty horns each. It was unclear who the victory would be at this point. Primus struggled as he lifted another horn and drank from its contents, doing his best not to spill any of the beverage.

Nath, on the other hand, was laughing as the man nearly knocked over his drink and got himself disqualified. He taunted the Roman for his lack of tolerance to alcohol while seemingly unaware that he himself was just as intoxicated.

“What did I say? You Romans are lightweights!”

After saying this, he began to gulp down another beer, however in the middle of his actions, his body and mind finally had enough and he passed out, spilling the beer all over the floor, as his head collapsed onto the table.

The Romans by Primus’ side began to cheer and lift the man into the air as he had won the drinking game, and in doing so, gained the Hibernian tribes as his foederati. He, however, passed out shortly after, and the officers nearly dropped him on his head as they struggled to lower him to the ground. Primus had just barely managed to survive the game long enough to etch out a victory.

Still, despite the narrow nature of his win, it was still a victory, and because of that, the High King of Hibernia now had to swear his troops to Rome as its Foederati. Thus, in the coming days, the Romano-British and the Hibernian tribes would unite together to expel the Pictish raiders and criminal brigands from the diocese of Britannia. Whether or not they would succeed in this endeavor had yet to be seen.


Tip: You can use left, right, A and D keyboard keys to browse between chapters.