Because I Cannot Hurt You

Shuang's voice slightly croaked. "I want to slap her even harder."

"No can do. Do you want your hands to bleed?"

"I want the bitch's cheeks to bleed."

"You wouldn't want to go to jail for that," he said in that same soothing voice, softly patting her back. "And you have plenty of ways to make her life miserable."

"Damn right I do. I am An Guoting's daughter. I don't know why he let her go for ruining his life but like hell would I!"

"Of course, you shouldn't. She lived a good life until now, not necessarily how she wanted with lots of money and a big house but still better than your father and Aunt Han. You shouldn't let her go."

"You will be my partner in crime?"

"How about I be the doctor in crime too?"

Shuang felt a lot better and lighter. She pulled back and said, "Thank you."

He Lijuan exclaimed. "What the hell are you babbling!?"

Shuang smiled. "You will know soon enough. Start counting your days. From the day you set up my father to the day when you broke Aunt Han's spirit completely, you have a lot of payback to suffer, bitch. I will make sure you do," she sneered, "You can think about packing your bags but trust me. Try to take a step out of this house, and the payback will get much worse. I have a good friend who can find you in no time. He has all kinds of systems to track. Very good systems."

She paled and shivered.

"This will give a lesson to your daughter too not to become like her trash mother."

He Mian burst into tears. "Mom, what is going on? I cannot believe that you could be such a terrible person!"

Shuang rolled her eyes.

Now that she saw the boat sinking, she was quick to take the turn.

"Wait for the payback. With interest. From the An family. And from the Han family too. Han Huizhong won't let this go."

---

"So you think she jumped off out of guilt?" Jack Si raised his brow. He asked as they headed towards their car.

"What could be the other reason?"

"But how does it count for what happened between your father and her? Will she really give up just because she came to know the truth?"

"That's the part we are missing, but I have a feeling she gave up her life because of guilt. It was too much to bear. Maybe they met again and obviously, she came to know that Dad had been married before. He had Caihong too. He was widowed but a married man nonetheless. He had a kid. And remember, she didn't marry. She thought of all the wasted years and how she could have been with him instead of Caihong's mom."

There was a beat of silence.

"Do you really think Zhiyuan's mother has feelings for Uncle An?"

Shuang thought about it.

"I really don't think so. I know you might think like that because of the birthday gift but...I really didn't get that type of feeling. You know, of one-sided love."

Jack Si nodded. They sat back in the car, and he shuffled one drawer in front of the passenger seat.

A moment later, Shuang softly said, "Thank you. I would have really killed her had I been alone with her."

He smiled. "Thank me after I put balm on your palm. I don't want it to swell."

"Why?"

"It's a pretty hand."

"Does that line work often?"

"Normally, I don't have to use it because my eyes do the trick."

"And you are using the line because I am not all over you because of your eyes."

"Sadly."

She chuckled.

Jack Si opened the small bottle's lid and scooped a tiny amount of cream. Shuang put her palm forward, open and a little red.

He sighed. "You really went out there."

"It was years worth of slaps. It needed to be painful."

Jack Si gently applied the balm to her skin. It stung a little, but she didn't react. His fingertips softly glided along with the redness, trying to hurt her as little as possible.

"Dad would have been happy, right? If Aunt Han would have come back to his life?"

He gently massaged the balm across her skin. 

"Depends on Uncle An's feelings."

"What do you mean? Deep down, he still has feelings for her."

"It doesn't necessarily translate that he would have accepted her back into his life. You should ask yourself why Han Zongying never got married, but he did."

Silence.

"Did he want to run away from the possibility of a reunion?" She asked.

"I think so. He was in the business world, so was Grandpa Han. They were bound to cross paths one day or the other through their work. Business deals, parties, banquets - he would have met Han Zongying sooner or later. If by that time, she had realized her mistake and asked for forgiveness, he knew he would fall weak. He wanted to have a reason that he was married. Hence no possibility of going back. But he still loves her."

"But he didn't want to give in to her. Why?"

"You know the answer."

She said nothing.

"Imagine if Yunru had blindingly accused you of something without giving you a chance to speak. Imagine he breaks off all his relations with you just because some other person said something, and he chose to believe that other person instead of you, with who he had spent the most time. Then one day, he comes back and apologizes to you with a faint hope in his heart that he can get back together with you. How would you feel?"

No answer.

"You might have still loved him, but would you have been able to forgive him? For not trusting you?"

No answer.

Jack Si faintly smiled. "Trust is a tricky thing, Shuang. Once the trust disappears, any relationship falls apart. The scars always remain. The pain is always there. It's like glass. The crack is always present, even if you fix the pieces with glue. Uncle An's pride was hurt. You cannot live in a relationship where you are afraid of having to prove yourself innocent time and again.. She didn't trust him once. What if she wouldn't trust him again if a similar problem arises?"