Why Did I Become the Villainess?

   "Dear, what are you doing there? Aren't you coming with us?" My mother asked. We are already in the western region. We arrived yesterday, and today my parents decided to do food feeding.

Yesterday, when we arrived, my parents felt awful seeing how devastating the situation here in the western region. Poverty is prevalent, and many people died here because of malnutrition. For that reason, my parents want to take this chance to do something for these people.

    The western region is the farthest territory of the Vrawyth Kingdom. Apart from being the farthest, you also need to ride a ship to get here. However, the currents of the water is something you should be afraid of. Many ships sink because they have heavy loads. The same reason why the monarch finds it challenging to send resources in this land.

    Actually there is another way to send resources here. It is through the Forest of Grimlemn. The problem is, there are bandits who live there. And those bandits didn't just robbed people, they also killed anyone who passed their territory.

    I took my coat and followed them outside. My parents set up tables at the plaza. When I get there, I saw a long line of people waiting for food. Their clothes are ragged and have a lot of wholes or patches. They are all thin and have darker skin compared to most people of Vrawyth. A sign that most people, spend their days in the sun. Doing vigorous work.

    I walk towards my parents, who are now starting to give a bowl of soup to people. Aside from the soup, they also prepare some vegetables and fruits to provide to them. My parents think that this soup will only last for one meal. So, it's best to give them fruits and vegetables so they could eat dinner too.

   I heard from my parents that most people here only eat once a day. There aren't a lot of job opportunities here, and if there are, the food costs more than the money they have.

   I stopped in my tracks when I saw a very familiar face. It's Prince Fraser! He's wearing a ripped sando and an old short that is too big for him. He just puts a belt on it so it won't fall. He has a lot of mud on his body. He looks back at me when he notices someone is staring at him.

   I turned my gaze away from him. There is a rule in this journey here in the western region, and it's not to react or pretend you don't know Prince Fraser. I walk towards my parents and help in giving food to people. Most of them look happy. They are crying while they are taking their bowl of soup and their vegetables and fruits.

   An old lady walks in front of me. She is accompanied by a small kid age seven to nine years old. I got out from my post and assisted the old lady to sit on the chair. There are tables and chairs everywhere so everyone could eat their bowl of soup in here.

   "Grandma just sits here, and I will serve you the bowl after."

   Grandma cried when she heard what I said. She waves her hands at me. "How could I let the Count's daughter do that. Rea, get the soup from the Count's daughter." The little child called Rea immediately stands up. I stop her immediately. She looks so thin and feeble. I'm afraid she'll hurt herself if I let her take the bowl of soup.

"You don't need to worry about that." I look at the little girl and gently pats her head. "Just sit there. I'll handle everything."

I walk back to take two bowls of soup. I ask one of our maids to hold the other bowl. Grandma smiled at me and started to eat the bowl. The little girl just stared at the bowl but didn't move an inch.

"Why aren't you eating? You don't like it?"

The little girl shakes her head. She looks at her hands. Fidgeting. She looks back at me with teary eyes. "Can I take this back home?"

I look at the bowl and the little girl. I think I know why she doesn't want to eat. It's rare for them to eat something like this. She probably plans to save it for later if they don't have anything to eat.

   I ask one of our maids to get another pack of fruits and vegetables. "Grandmother, here take this." I put the two packages on the table. "You know, I think it's best if I let someone send you home. I don't think you could carry these packages on your own."

    Grandmother and the little girl both thank me. I just smiled at them. I also give the little girl a bar of chocolates. I heard from my parents that most children here don't know what chocolate tastes like. Poor child.

    The food feeding lasts for an entire day. The line wouldn't stop, and it keeps getting longer and longer. Mother and Father ask our maids to look for people who could help them to cooked food. My parents offer those who helped money. However, all of them declined it, saying feeding the people here for an entire day is enough payment.

    I am on our way now to the house we were staying in when our carriage passed through a small house. In front of it, there are two children selling things. Besides the children, there is a young lady, probably the same age as me, sitting with them.

    I ask them to stop the carriage. "Miss, I don't think it's safe to get out."

    I signal the maid to stop talking. I was about to get out when I feel my body stiffen. Even if how much I tried to move my feet, it wouldn't bulge. It feels heavy like someone is putting weight on both my feet.

   "Miss?" She was probably confused why I stopped the carriage and didn't do anything after.

   My hand moves on its own. Signaling the coachman to moves again. The carriage starts moving again. I tried to look back, but my head wouldn't move. I can not move my whole body. No! No! Why is it happening? There isn't a scene like this in the novel, but why can't I control my body?

    The lady! I stopped the carriage because I think she looks familiar. Does it have anything to do with the lady? If yes, who is she? I couldn't really see her face because of the mud on her body, dress, and face. It's like she swam in a pool of mud. Who is she?

_____________

"Miss, is it really okay to walk around here? The Count and the Countess will surely get mad again."

"Shut your mouth!" My mouth said.

Early this morning, I was suddenly awakened by a force. It's the same thing that controls my body sometimes. I couldn't feel my body no matter how I tried. Every time I will force my body to move. I would feel pain inside of me. Not my organs but more likely in my soul. It feels like someone is burning a part of it. And I couldn't handle the pain, so I let that thing take over my body.

    I don't understand what is happening. It's the first time I felt the pain. Before, even if I tried forcing myself to move, I won't feel any pain. Although I felt like somebody is pinning me down, that's why it can't be moved. But today is different. I felt like someone is pushing me at the back, and every time I would try to move myself, I could feel like they are burning something within me.

I am frightened! I am afraid that one day I would wake up having no control of this body. I could feel it. There something in my body. It felt like there's someone inside of my body.

    My foot walked through the small market in the center of the town. Everywhere you look, you could find someone selling different things. There are fruits that are probably a week old already because the stalk of it is already dried. There are vegetables too, but most of them are already wilted. Some people sell things that I have never seen.

My foot stops in front of a stall. A young man is selling fishes. Prince Fraser! He is wearing the clothes he wore yesterday. His skin also looks darker than the last time I saw him.

Prince Fraser looks up at me. His eyes dilated for a moment before they came back to normal. He looks at his fishes. "Do you need anything, the Count's daughter?"

   "It's Csille." My mouth said on its own.

   He looks at me. I could see confusion in his eyes. He is probably confused why I'm not following the rule. I wasn't supposed to talk to him or have even a small interaction with him. The King does that to assure the safety of the Crown Prince.

   He just shakes his head at me. "Lady Csille, do you need anything? Do you want a fish?" He looks at the fish. I could see hesitation in his clear blue eyes. The Count and the Countess do food feeding every other day, and as a sign of gratitude, people give what they could offer to the count and countess or even Csille. Prince Fraser must be thinking if he should give me the fishes for free. If he did, he probably couldn't eat anything today.

My head shakes on his own. "You don't need to give me anything. I'm actually here to give clothing to people. Here," I take a pair of simple shirt and short that is the right size for him. I also instructed the maid to give the other clothes we have to other vendors. The vendors thanked me and offered whatever they are selling. My mouth politely declined it. Thank god! I really thought my mouth will be mean again.

    Most people here don't have enough money to buy food for themselves, let alone buy a new set of clothes.

"You shouldn't come here." I heard a whisper. I look at Prince Fraser. He is already frowning, showing how he is displeased with what I am doing. He took a stick and inconspicuously wrote something in the ground.

'Get out!'

I knew it! This! This is a scene I write before the Crown Prince meets Princess Paislee as cross dressing man. Prince Fraser is mad at how hardheaded Csille is. So, he pushed her away, thinking about her safety. No one should know that he's the Crown Prince.

However, Csille doesn't know that Prince Fraser is thinking about her safety only. So, after reading what he wrote, he walked out of the scene without caring to anyone. Leaving everyone confused and scared at the same time.

Did they do something to upset the daughter of the Count?

I look at what Prince Fraser wrote. Although I know what he really meant behind those words, I could still feel pain in my heart. It's like someone is pricking it, and I have an urge to cry. With blurry eyes, my foot walks out on its own.

Are these Csille feelings? Is the reason why I couldn't control my body and feel pain when I forced myself to move, is because this scene was written in the book. Couldn't I really do anything to changed those scenes?

____________

After that incident, my life has been okay. I could control my body these days without a problem. It's probably because it is a time gap in my story. It is when I fast forward the story to a week or a month later.

These days, I keep helping my parents feed the poor. And because of this, everyone loves the Count and the Countess. Even Csille, the Count's daughter, is given special treatment here. Every other day my parents would do food feeding. They couldn't do it every day because we still lack the workforce to do that. So, even if they want to do it, that is impossible.

   I also didn't visit Prince Fraser. I know he's already finding it difficult to live for a day. I don't want to add to his troubles. I could only see him when he gets his free food. However, we didn't talk. We just stare at each other and then pretended that nothing happened.

   This routine continues for almost a week now. My days aren't usually busy. If there is food feeding, I will help distribute it the whole day. The next day, I will just stay in the house to rest or just stroll around the places. Although there aren't many places to visit.

   There's probably one thing I noticed. There is one place in the western region that I couldn't go to. Every time I'll try to went there, it's either something will happen, or I would lose control of my body again.

   'I don't understand. What is in there that made me lost control of my body?'

   I tried recalling what I've written, but the first version and the revised version of the novel are messing up my brain. And now, I don't know what is right.

   'What's in there? Or better yet, who is in there?'