Spending My Retirement In A Game

Eisen sat there, staring down into the arena with a broad grin on his face, struggling to keep down the laughter that his whole body was trying to force out of him, while the grandour next to him looked at Eisen in absolute disbelief.

"Does your warrior have no honor whatsoever?! What is this?!" The chieftain of the fire giants asked with an angry expression, and Eisen turned his head toward the man next to him as he softly stroked his beard, "What, there were rules about this battle? You realize that you had a fighter go against a mage, right? There are going to be some tricks there." The old man pointed out, while the Grandour just angrily glared back at the arena, "What a joke!"

"Exactly. See, you understand it after all, don't you? Sky said it's a comedy, and a ridiculous one at that, so you should probably be prepared for that. Sky has a very creative mind, to say the least." Eisen explained with a smile on his face, excited to see what else might happen. Clearly, this 'story' that Sky was coming up with on the spot was going to be filled with absolute randomness. There was no rule within his abilities that the story he was telling was supposed to be particularly coherent or logical, or even all that good, after all. It just had to be a story. Sure, this ability was one that clearly took Sky a lot of mana to properly make use of, but that was an issue that he didn't have in the first place.

Due to his Fae parent, the amount of mana he possessed was absolutely ridiculous to begin with, and it only increased the more Sky leveled up, of course. And he was making full use of this fact to play around with his opponent a little bit..

"The numerous Kobolds began to run around their opponent's feet. As if they had a hive mind, still being one person, they kept on attacking them. Or more specifically, their ankles – as it was the only part they could actually reach." Sky said in a loud voice, as the Kobolds did exactly as their storyteller had explained. They were ripping at the warrior's ankles with their claws, or biting into them with their fangs. They were doing anything they could to attack that opponent. But being close to the warrior's legs, the giant fighter simply crushed the kobolds underneath his feet, turning them into nothing but a black, ink-like mush.

"In response to being utterly destroyed by their opponents, the kobolds reveal another one of their abilities! They are... im-mor-tal." Sky explained with a grin, as he watched the tiny kobolds, at least they were tiny from his perspective, simply form back out of the black ink that the giant fighter had turned them into. Of course, something that infuriated the fighter even more.

"What a coward! Fight me head on, you child!" The warrior exclaimed, and Eisen's smile grew into more of a grin, knowing what was about to happen.

"Maybe I should have warned you about this earlier, but if there's one thing you really shouldn't call Sky, it's 'child'." The old man explained, but the grandour sitting next to him still seemed incredibly confused and startled at Sky's abilities, so he had no idea how he was supposed to reply, while Eisen simply watched this incredibly enjoyable and entertaining battle unfold further.

"Child, huh? Can a fucking child do this?!" Sky exclaimed, as he stared at the numerous Kobolds on the ground.

"The mass of tiny monsters resolved themselves, choosing to mount this giant beast in front of them! They tore their claws into its flesh, climbing up more and more by the second!" He said loudly. The giant fighter in front of him of course quickly tried to kill any of the kobolds as quickly as he could, since even they would end up being somewhat troublesome if they reached his head. But whenever he managed to do so, the kobold just turned into ink, which quickly stuck to his skin or clothes, before the ink turned back into a kobold a few moments later. It was practically impossible for the fighter to get rid of all of these numerous kobolds that were expertly climbing his body. Soon, they reached his torso and neck, and the reality actually settled in.

The fighter was trying to rip the kobolds off his body, throwing as many as he could to the ground, but Sky already reacted to that, "All the Kobolds turned out to be vampire kobolds! Whenever they were thrown away, they turned into bats and flew back to stick to the giant's body once more!"

"Fucking vampires now?! Seriously?!" The fighter yelled out, "By the gods, you're the most annoying little brat that I've ever had to face!"

"Huh? Did you just- Oho, alright, then I guess I really won't hold back... The kobolds climbed up all the way to the warriors head, choosing to do anything they could to make the giant blind and deaf." Sky exclaimed, "They stuffed his ears with their bodies, and threw themselves onto his eyes, forcing its eyelids shut."

The Kobolds did just that, and the giant tried to do anything he could to get rid of the kobolds, "And then, the true Giant Warrior, who the kobolds had impersonated, appeared in front of the opponent." Sky said, before more ink practically poured out of the book that he was holding as he used up a lot more mana for this part of his 'story'. Sky's body was soon covered in armor, as he held a long sword in his hand    .

Sky slowly let go of the book, making it float in the air beside him, as he continued to tell the story – this time, with himself as both the storyteller and main character. He ran toward the giant fighter, and swung the sword at him with as much force as he could. Him being a mage, he shouldn't have been able to really exert too much force, but since the Inkheart Story that he was now telling about himself practically acted as a powerful buff, Sky had enough power to send the fighter flying. It threw off quite a few of the Kobolds, but Sky quickly reacted to this fact.

"The Kobolds, seeing the true Giant Warrior, decided to assist him. With their vampiric, monstrous strength and speed, they moved underneath his feet and helped him propel forward." Sky said, and as just that happened, his body was practically flung forward by the Kobolds. Sky stabbed the sword forward, and the fighter in front of him was barely able to react to the attack. Only a few of the kobolds that had been taking care of his eyes had been thrown off, so he still wasn't able to see most of what was happening around him.

But even so, being a professional gladiator, the fighter swung his shield to the side to defend, overwhelming Sky despite the strength that he currently had through his magic.

"The Vampire Kobolds fly in front of the Giant Warrior to block the attack!" Sky yelled out, and immediately, nearly all of the Kobolds did as told, the only ones that didn't were the ones still trying to block the fighter's senses. The Kobolds seemed to do a decent job at blocking part of the attack, absorbing most of the damage. But even then, Sky still received an attack and was pushed back, something that annoyed him quite a bit. The fighter jumped up to run at Sky, but the Fae-kin really didn't want to play around anymore. He was just getting more and more annoyed. Maybe Eisen should have a bit of a conversation about his temper with him.

"The Kobolds try to trip up the opponent with rope!" He exclaimed, and the kobolds quickly threw a thin black rope across the ground that the fighter simply ran through, unable to react in time. But of course, due to the light weight of the kobolds, they were simply pulled along.

"The Kobolds tie the rope around the opponent's legs!" Sky said instead, and the Kobolds quickly tied the somehow nearly indestructible rope around the fighter's legs, and since he was in the middle of running, he quickly tripped over onto the ground.

"Seeing their opponent on the ground, the Kobolds shoot rope over the giant, to tie them onto the ground!" Sky exclaimed, something that the Kobolds of course quickly did. The giant fighter was unable to move now, and Sky quickly took that chance to hold the tip of his Inkheart sword right onto the fighter's neck, so that if he tried to move, he would practically just be killing himself.

"Huh? If I'm such a child, and a brat, then how did I beat this oh-so-great fighter right in front of me, huh?!" Sky exclaimed, pressing his foot onto the fighter's back. It was clear that the giant fighter wouldn't be able to continue. Sky had won this battle between them, and their side had gained another point.

Once more, there were cheers coming from the audience, although there were also a few people complaining about the way that Sky was fighting, saying that it was 'dirty'. But Sky just had one thing to say about that.

"Yo, I'm a mage, not a fighter! This kind of fight was unfair to me in the first place, don't complain if I'm fighting a little bit dirty, alright?!" He yelled out, after clearly getting worked up after the fight. But Eisen didn't really mind that he was antagonizing the giants a little bit, since that would just make them even more engaged. And the only thing he could really pay attention to right now was the grandour's beautifully annoyed expression.