Please Be Quiet And Take Off Your “Something”

Life was being unfair, that is what it was. She stared at the calendar as if she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. The monitor casted a dim light over the calendar’s cute characters.

[200 Days Celebration Gapyeong Trip]

“Fucking 200 days, fucking celebration trip. What a load of shit…”

As she muttered the most powerful swear words she could spit out, Na-Yool tore off the November page with shaky hands.

Though written in a not-so-pretty handwriting, she had decorated the D-Day with much care. As she was concerned what her coworkers might think, she could not tear up the calendar, throw it away nor cross off that day with a red X.

It would have been the last weekend of November. In other words, one day from today. Tomorrow.

Actually, the real 200 days’ celebration day was two weeks ago. So why would the trip be marked for the current week? It was all because of this damn company.

On the actual celebration day, the poor Na-Yool had been urgently dragged to help on a project which had reached its deadline, therefore she had to cancel the reservation made two months ago with her boyfriend for an expensive getaway in Gapyeong. And the next weekend, she cancelled again due to some work she had already postponed once.

Now, it looked like the long-awaited tomorrow turned into an extension of today’s night overtime.

And all of it suddenly started yesterday.

Yes, it was yesterday. She had been completely tied up with work and it would most likely last until next week. Her trip was definitely not happening.

And as a matter of fact, her boyfriend, whose complaints about her being such a workaholic had reached its utmost point, had finally announced the end of this sluggish relationship. This was exactly 5 seconds after the words “I don’t think we can go on the trip this week either” had crossed Na-Yool’s lips.

“Let’s just break up, Na-Yool.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t seem to like me that much anyway, and I’m tired of waiting for you to change. For real.”

“You don’t seem to like me,” Sang-Hoon, Na-Yool’s 4 years older boyfriend – no, now ex-boyfriend, would always retort. This was the trump card he would always use on Na-Yool, even though she already felt sorry and remorseful.

As if to emphasize he sacrificed himself in this relationship for the sake of a half heartedly involved Na-Yool, Sang-Hoon would repeat those words over and over to stir up her guilt. It was like he was trying to force her to deny it vehemently, to get the words “That’s not it at all” out. So naturally, she thought he would stop at it, like always.

“Kim Na-Yool. Did you hear me? Let’s break up.”

“Oppa. It’s just Gapyeong. We already visited there a few times before. If you want to go on a trip, we can go to Jeju next time, or wherever you want to.”

“Next time, my ass! There is no next time.”

“Did you just swear at me?”

“Since when was ‘my ass’ an insult?”

“What bullshit is that. Are you a thug or what?”

“Ah! You said it. Didn’t you just swear at me too? Who’s the thug now?”

“Oh god, what a load of crap.”

“Wow. You cursed. You did. Kim Na-Yool the Thug.”

“You started it!”

“I just said ‘ass’, I didn’t say you were one!”

“It’s the same thing! How can a man swear in front of his woman!”

As far as Na-Yool remembered, they had always fought in a childish and shameful way. And with not much difference, their pathetic fight last night had pathetically ended with their separation. But Sang-Hoon looked more serious than usual, and sick of it, rather than just tired. It seemed to be really over this time.

…Of course, it’s not like I don’t feel sorry.

In any case, setting aside the fact that working overtime on a Friday night was not her choice, it was a trip that Sang-Hoon had eagerly waited for.

It was her who had ruined their original plans, her who had to postpone it the second time, and her again who had made them cancel the trip just before going.

Whatever her intention was, it was the outcome that mattered.

Na-Yool looked at the torn calendar page with a new perspective. If she had gone as far as to act out of character and mark their trip with little hearts on the 200th day of being together, it was because she felt pressured by Sang-Hoon.

She had convinced herself that she had to feel things. At first, a sense of guilt, and this time, a sense of duty to go on the trip despite her reluctance.

To think I thought I ‘had to’… How stupid of me.

That very mindset had been downright wrong. Like Sang-Hoon said, maybe she really did not like him much.

So it was probably for the best. Breaking up was the right thing to do. They would not have to waste more time with each other. Not only did she not have free time on weekends, she never really wanted to go on that trip anyway. She did not want to get dragged around all day long following his plans –  and more importantly, she hated that a man would earnestly count how many days are left until their 200th celebration day…

Thinking back, Na-Yool turned away from the calendar, as if she gave it the cold shoulder. Back to facing her empty monitor, she fell into despair again.