Heart of Darkness

After crying the rest of the evening and then pitying herself the first half of the night, Angelica began to do some thinking on the second half. At first, she kept thinking and imagining what would happen from here on. She became more and more scared the more she thought about it. Then she began to think about what she could do to get through this. But how would she know if she didn't exactly know what she would have to get through? And lastly, she thought of good reasons to accept her fate, when she was tired of looking for other solutions that didn't exist, worrying, and being scared.

Here she would have shelter and food, be able to pay her father's debt off quicker, and maybe even save some money for William. But how would her reputation now affect him? It was enough that he was a traitor's son, now he was a ….

She couldn't bring herself to say the word. She ruined things for him. All this time she tried to protect him but she ended up here instead. 

Removing the sheets away from her body, she got out of bed just when Valeria walked into the room. 

"Oh, my dear. You really didn't get any sleep." She said looking at her. 

Angelica remained quiet not knowing what to say. 

Valeria came and put one arm around her. "Come with me." She said and led her out of the room gently. She took her to the dressing room where the ladies had gathered to make themselves look good. 

"Ladies. Leave!" Valeria told them. 

They put everything down right away and left the room. 

"Come." Valeria took her to a dresser and sat her in front of the mirror. "This kind of work requires you to look good." She said looking at her through the mirror while her hands rested on her shoulders. 

Angelica looked at herself in the mirror. She looked dead. She felt dead inside. 

Valeria grabbed a comb and began to comb her hair gently. "You are beautiful already. You won't have to try hard. Just a little self-care will go a long way." 

Valeria had the softest voice. It was so soothing and Angelica felt like she could tell her anything and trust her. 

"Men are not complicated, especially the ones coming here. Usually, we have the same customers coming several times so you will learn what each of them wants and if you learn what they need then you will be the one in control. Don't think that these men will have control over you. Just make them think they do." She explained. 

Angelica listened despite her headache. 

"The key is to make them feel good about themselves. Compliment them, laugh at their jokes, listen to them, and if you take your time to know what they need and not just what they want you will have them wrapped around your fingers. You will have customers that will ask for you specifically. They will pay more, bring you expensive gifts, and pamper you." She continued. 

She made it sound pleasant. 

"Not everyone comes here for what you think. You would be surprised how many come here for other reasons." She began to braid her hair. "You will learn with time how to do less work and earn more." 

"They won't treat me well. I am a traitor's daughter." Angelica said. 

"People only care about those things when others see them. They act how they are expected to act. What is good about this place is that everyone leaves their mask at the door. Some might put a different mask on, but it won't be the same mask they show to the rest of the world. Besides you are a prostitute now. The worst thing you can be as a woman in society's eyes. They won't care about whose daughter you are." When she was done with the braid she put it over her shoulder to see. 

"You seem like a smart and strong woman. You will figure it out." She smiled. 

Angelica looked at her reflection. What other choice did she have? She was branded now. 

"Will you teach me?" Angelica asked Valeria. "Teach me everything you know."

Valeria smiled. "That is what I am here for. But first, you need to get some more rest because your eyes are red and swollen. Then I will dress you well and teach you a few tricks on how to make yourself look better. I will also answer all questions you might have." 

Questions? She scoffed inside. She did indeed have many questions but those were mostly to herself. Why did she wait to get married was the biggest of all questions that she kept blaming herself for. She waited for a man she might like and now she ended up in a place where she would be used by a dozen and more. 

"Do you want something to eat before getting some rest?" She asked. 

Angelica shook her head. Her stomach was full with disgust. 

"Alright then. The room is that way." She said pointing in the right direction. 

Standing up Angelica hurried back to the room taking the same way she came from. She got into the bed and curled herself into a ball. Was she really going to do this? Would this be her life from now on? 

She closed her eyes, hoping and praying that this was a nightmare, and when she opened her eyes again everything would be alright. But she was only fooling herself. She was very well aware that this was a nightmare but also the reality of her situation. 

Looking for a way to escape reality she tucked herself under the warm sheets and closed her eyes. Soon she fell asleep. 

When she opened her eyes again, it was afternoon. Her stomach growled from not having eaten for more than a day. She opened the door and peaked outside. No one was walking through the halls but she heard the chatter of women coming from a room nearby.

She tiptoed outside and then walked around the hall looking inside the rooms that had their doors open. Most of them were bedrooms with three to four beds. There was a door at the end of the hall that looked different from the rest. Angelica guessed it might lead outdoors. 

She went to the door and opened it carefully before peeking outside. Yes. She was right. It led her out of the house. She stepped outside curious to see if anyone would notice or try to stop her. No one seemed to be outside and Angelica contemplated whether to escape or not. 

Being marked as a … again she couldn't bring herself to say the word; where would she go? And the outside world was right now more dangerous than this place she was in. 

"Good afternoon, Angelica." Startled, she looked behind her. 

Simu was leaning against the wall and studying her with his brown eyes. Despite his "kind" words, he looked like someone who would do what needed to be done, no matter what it was. 

"Thinking of escaping?" He asked. 

"Do I have a chance?" She asked. 

"Hmm… let me think." He said pretending to be thoughtful. "No. I mean you could run but I would barely call it an escape. A young beautiful lady like you, with red hair which has now become the symbol of the traitor's daughter, how far would you reach before getting harassed, raped, abused, and maybe even left to die?" 

The fact that he said the truth which she already knew loudly pained her. She still remembers how terrified she was the day her windows got broken. She knew things would only get worse after that and one day they would even break into her home and not burn it while she was in it. Her heart ached at the thought of her house burning down. It was the only place she had created memories with her mother. 

"Unless you prefer death." He said. "That is the only way to escape." 

How cruel of him to suggest that. "Don't worry. I won't die. Not until I pay off my debt." 

He smirked. "A tough one. I like that. But let me make one thing clear." He said walking closer to her. Angelica didn't let herself be intimidated and held her ground even though he came very close to her. 

"You can be tough all you want but you should know that if you cross me, I will cross you." He said drawing a cross near her collarbone with his finger. 

Angelica kept a straight face but this man scared her. 

Looking satisfied he went back inside as if he was sure she wouldn't escape. He knew how useless it was.