Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Chapter 504: 503 – Bored and Idle

“Relax, dude,” I laughed in response, as I formed a spark of flames and lit up the joint.      

Today’s the 25th of January, 1822, and we were currently celebrating our freedom from that sealing barrier we’d been trapped in.      

We’d decided to wait until we had restored peace to a significant extent, so that we could relax and party without any concerns.      

Order had been restored to the Rustlands, Belia had taken over the leadership position of the nation and dealt with the rampant crime there. We then helped her set up a new government to run the nation, since, well, she really isn’t cut out for that stuff.     

And as for Idyll, Sylvar and Bell had sorted things out there and put the new Earth Sage in charge of things, while Esta was to continue running things in Liberty.      

Rion, Azeria and Fuo had spearheaded the elimination of all the criminal groups that had sprung up. I had them study all the new abilities that the new Reincarnators have displayed, so that they’d know what to expect.      

It went pretty smoothly, and while there are still some small groups and stragglers remaining that need to be dealt with, all the main threats are gone.      

All the trade center towns and farming villages had been in bad shape, but they were slowly but surely returning to normal now that rampant crime is less of a concern.     

However, it’s not like everything’s been undone…the fear and terror that the Spectre had inflicted upon the people had left a scar, one that a lot of them won’t be recovering from anytime soon.      

A lot of people had lost their loved ones to him, he’d also ruined a lot of marriages and families by brainwashing and manipulating some of them.      

Some of the damage he’d caused was irreparable, there’s nothing we can do about it except wait for time to heal those wounds. That about sums up the state of this world right now.      

It’s funny, the more I hear about the things that the Spectre did, the more familiar it all sounds…there was a criminal in my old world, a serial killer who was widely known as the Phantom.      

He targeted people that lived in the public eye, like celebrities, reporters, journalists, royalty, people like that, and mostly women.      

His victims were often found heavily tortured and mutilated, as well as with clear signs of sexual abuse. Sometimes they’d be found with their partners, which led to the assumption that he made their partners watch before killing both.      

Eventually, Sicario and I were assigned to kill him. We managed to discover his identity and then tracked him, but before we could make our move, he was killed in a nuclear explosion when he went to a warring nation.      

I wonder…could it have been the same guy? He died before I did in that world, so I’m not sure, but then, time probably doesn’t flow linearly between seperate worlds. Well, I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, now that the Spectre is dead.      

Well, anyway, now that we’ve sorted out most of the damage caused by the Spectre and restored some order to the world, we’re celebrating that and our freedom.      

All of us who were sealed away in that barrier were here, along with Jhin. We had a ungodly amount of weed, plenty of booze and some snacks.      

The variety of food had grown so much, and none of us have been able to resist gorging ourselves. It’s been about two and half weeks since we got back, and most of us have gained a few kilos of weight.      

Not me, but that’s only because I’ve been using my Healing Factor to cut down any weight I put on, otherwise, I’d have gained about five kilos or so. And Belia’s body doesn’t work the same as a human’s, so she’s the same too.      

Persia did put on some weight, but the moment she realized and noticed it, she made me use my Healing Factor on her to slim her down.      

“Ahhh, that’s the stuff,” Sighed Rion contently, as he took in a deep puff and exhaled slowly, a wispy cloud of smoke floating out of his mouth.      

“I’ve missed that smell,” I responded, as the scent began filling the room.      

“Same here,” Replied Az in agreement, a look of anticipation on his face.      

“It’s been a busy couple of weeks or so, definitely needed this,” Grinned Sylvar, as he sipped on a glass of booze.          

“I have to agree, it has been rather stressful,” Nodded Bell, as she munched on one of the snacks, a bowl of chocolate-caramel flakes.      

It was a new popular snack here, and it’s made by melting chocolate and caramel together into a flat sheet and then breaking the sheet into small bite-sized flakes.      

Oh, when I say ‘new’, I mean new to us, it’s actually been around for about eighty years. It’s the kind of snack that you can keep munching on, and by the time you realize it, you’ve eaten a massive heap of the stuff.      

“So, hey, what’s everyone’s favorite new inventions during the time we were sealed away?” Inquired Rion, as he munched on some cheese and sour cream flavored potato chips.      

“I really like the hair styling spells…just activate it and it styles your hair and maintains it for a full twenty-four hours,” Grinned Sylvar in response.      

“I like the music, and those devices you put on your ears so that only you can hear the song, without bothering anyone else. It helped me relax and relieve stress while we were out dealing with the criminal groups,” Spoke up Azeria, as she took a puff and let out a slight cough.      

In other words, she likes headphones.      

“Definitely the food. Like, everything that’s been invented is really impressive and all, but it’s also a bit overwhelming. So for now, I’m most enjoying how much food has improved,” Laughed Persia sheepishly.      

I glanced at her stomach as she said that…too bad she made me slim her down, I liked the extra bit of squishy-ness she had. She then noticed me staring and lightly elbowed me with a pout…she became really self-conscious when she gained weight.      

“I can’t pick just one thing…I still can’t get over how different everything looks, the shops, the streets, the buildings…there’s so many super tall buildings now, and they look like something out of a dream,” Remarked Fuo in awe.      

Oh, she means all the skyscrapers. Yeah, I was pretty amazed too, it’s no wonder that those who haven’t seen buildings like that before would be awestruck by them.      

“I would not call this an invention, but I found it quite heartening by how well all the different races, including Monsters, are all getting along,” Chimed in Draco.      

“Yes, there was a bit of tension and fear in the people towards us before, but that is all gone now,” Nodded one of the Elemental Dragons in agreement.      

“I’m really enjoying the movies and shows and stuff. I saw some of it in Kuro’s memories while we were stuck in the barrier, and it’s great that that stuff has been invented here,” Spoke up Belia, as she took a deep sip of a beer.      

“Wait, what?” I responded with a frown.      

“Mhm, Lazarus and Diablo showed me some of the stuff you used to watch in your old world. I mean, what did you expect, that I’d be working non-stop on unraveling the barrier? I needed a break every now and then, otherwise I’d have lost my mind,” She replied objectively.      

“Hm…okay, fair enough, I guess.”     

“Out of curiosity, how much sooner would we have broken free if you hadn’t taken any breaks?” Persia asked her.      

“Let me think…well, assuming I didn’t lose my mind, maybe about fifteen years sooner, I guess?” She responded, after mulling it over for a bit.      

“So, like, on average, you were taking a year break every ten years or so? I’d say that’s not so bad,” Remarked Rion thoughtfully.      

“The whole process was awful…imagine being an ant having to unravel a tangled, planet-sized ball of yarn,” Sighed Belia with a slight shudder.      

“Can’t tell if you’re exaggerating or not,” Responded Sylvar wryly.      

“Oh, I’m definitely not.”     

“If you hadn’t been there, we might’ve been trapped in there forever, huh?” Mused Fuo with a grimace.     

“Well, not necessarily, Lazarus and Diablo could’ve done it too, but it probably would’ve taken them, like, five to six hundred years. But, then, there was no way that Samsara would’ve excluded me,” Shrugged Belia in response.          

“I just hope things will be nice and peaceful from now on,” Sighed Persia hopefully.      

“You know, what? I agree. After the absolute hell that was a hundred and fifty years of unraveling a spell, I need a few centuries to kick back and relax. For once, I’m more than happy to just be bored and idle for the foreseeable future,” Replied Belia, as she took a puff of the joint…      

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